Reckless: behaving without considering potential dangers or the negative consequences of one’s actions. It implies a heedless, irresponsible unconcern for safety, laws, or the well-being of others. – according to AI.
Back in the day, celebrity psychologist Dr. Joyce Brothers researched our modern U.S. presidents—all white men at the time. She was doing this much-needed national side-chair psychoanalysis during the Clinton-Lewinsky affair in the 1990s which led to the president’s impeachment. What the psychologist explained to us back then was men who pursue the U.S. presidency share similar traits; she summed it up as men with ‘a lot of testosterone’ (which may explain skirt chasing). These are men who step into a room and command attention. Call it self-confidence; a great sense of self-accomplishment; healthy self-esteem; charisma; and yes, for quite a few, sex appeal. Think John Kennedy, Bill Clinton, younger Donald Trump—and all the many others who dared run for the highest office in the land until sex scandals brought them down from Gary Hart to John Edwards. Not all reckless men are Democrats, but when it comes to national candidates, you gotta wonder. Though Barack Obama checks most of the self-confident boxes (his get-to-know-me pre-presidential-run book was titled The Audacity of Hope), reports of infidelity are none. His marriage to Michelle comes across as believably solid, something beautiful to ponder, the audacity of hope for the rest of us.
Along with the secure men who seek the presidency, once called the Leader of the Free World, are many other men who seek elected office from city council to district, state and national office.
It’s a lotta men.
And it’s so many men, and the mass media is really good at their job, and the internet is lightening fast, that any man with skeletons in the closet is gonna be found out. It’s just a matter of time.
So the same old story continues with yet another political contender, Graham Platner, Democrat for U.S. Senate representing Maine. He gained national attention, even excitement and controversy (his Nazi tat). He’s rugged, a war veteran, 41 years old, married, bearded, a regular guy, and came across as … well, the best Democrat to possibly beat the Republican who’s held his state’s DC office for years.
Then one woman, and another and another, came forward to claim sexual assault. They told their stories on the air and came across as very credible. No charges filed, a ‘he said, she said’ situation. But it was best Platner drop out and leave the national spotlight.
Of mics and men
Women have a problem understanding this story that occurs so often, it’s expected. And it’s not just men in politics but men in media, too. In recent years the list includes Bill O’Reilly and Chris Matthews, both interestingly enough from opposite ends of the political spectrum. Huh.
And it includes men in TV, movies and music. Just in modern times, the list includes Matt Lauer, Charlie Rose, Sean Combs, Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby. Have mercy.
Dr. Brothers’ presidential psychological profiles share common traits, which apparently applies to other men who seek and obtain national fame. One deals with power, which she deemed an aphrodisiac. Ah. Digging deeper, she said men who seek power are compensating for masked insecurity or the need for control.
These are men who come across as absolutely certain about themselves and their views. [I never trust those kinda people, smug.] And this persona is to mask their basic insecurities. Brothers, who wrote the book What Every Woman Should Know About Men, noted a struggle men in power have in balancing family life with their innate competitive drive necessary to be highly successful at business, government, show biz.
She also pointed out powerful men struggle with the public’s expected image of them. The macho image most seek, because their public really likes a confident Mr. Man (who’ll protect us), conflicts with human vulnerability that is the key to healthy personal relationships. Again, Obama, we may assume, maintained a very good balance in public and private life. Michelle wrote all about it in her book Becoming.
What Dr. Brothers wanted us to understand about a number of men in politics is to look past their public persona and realize, if not accept, their deeply embedded psychological needs that drove them to pursue public life. She said these are men who need love, prestige and validation—all three; one will never be enough.
So the dance continues. The public, which is us, needs to wise up. Men who seek power are not like ordinary Joes. They have a lot of deep-seated needs the rest of us don’t understand (because we’re too busy working and making ends meet). At an early age, men who pursue power realized most people find them charming. They always get what they want. They come across as being a people person. [I’ve always been suspicious of a self-proclaimed ‘people person.’ I mean, get real.] And they have an almost mesmerizing, ministerial manner of getting a lot of people to believe in them.
Dr. Brothers would warn us, especially as voters, to beware the men who fit this mode. They aren’t every man, of course, and they aren’t most men. But always wonder about anyone (men more than women, heh) who wants to be President of the United States. Don’t the rest of us by now think anybody would be crazy to wanna be president? And yet, we need leaders we can trust.