Letter to the DNC: Say it, Gun Control. Now.

Dear Democratic National Committee:

As a registered Democrat, I recently received in the mail the DNC’s official 2019 Democratic Party Survey.  I was more than happy to take a couple of minutes to check off and rank what I think should be key political priorities from the DNC’s various lists.  I am referring to categories and concerns that included: taxing the wealthy; reducing taxes on the middle class; Russian aggression in world affairs; Trump’s recklessness; climate change; job creation; saving Social Security; saving public education; college affordability; affordable healthcare and prescriptions; women’s rights; immigration; terrorism; and restoring U.S. cooperation with and leadership and support of NATO and other nations with whom we once had been friendly and trusting allies.      

But I was surprised to discover the number one issue for me apparently is not a prominent concern with the DNC.  I am referring to gun control.  Among a plethora of subtopics, including a repeated chance to select a choice along the lines of ‘I don’t have any problem with the Republican Party objectives,’ gun control was listed only ONE time.  It was included in a list of the responder’s personal objectives.  So I marked it yet was only allowed that one time, this my number one concern in America today.

I cannot believe my lifelong political party—the bleeding-heart liberal, altruistic, pacifist, promoters of the 1st Amendment, proud card-carrying members of the American Civil Liberties Union—would play down our nation’s obvious crucial Number One problem: continuous mass shootings that terrorize the minds of every single school kid and many if not most others who live and work in this great nation.  Gun control must be one of the Top Three issues Democrats address for urgent solutions and reform.

Instead, the DNC topics left me with the impression the Democratic Party is shying away from gun control.  Perhaps the two words leave a bad taste in the mouth of politicians these days.  We have yet to speak near as loudly as the adamant, brazen and emphatic other party/ies who reiterate to constituents any gun control is against the 2nd Amendment.  Because the DNC listed gun control only once for selecting, I assume this issue is not going to be a priority for the 2020 presidential election.  Why not?  Why the hell not?

Pacifists and ostriches

Are Democratic leaders unwilling to once again take up the hot-button issue of gun control nationwide?  The DNC survey should make clear how serious gun control is among Americans who think liberally instead of conservatively, and I bet even those who think moderately.  Mass shootings are a daily tragedy in this country.  It’s as if we all are living in a war zone.  The reason is obvious: what used to be illegal, military-style assault rifles—the type that sprays bullets to kill large numbers of humanity in seconds flat.  And in my America, that is exactly what happens every day, a mass shooting somewhere, only the most extraordinary gaining national media attention.

For the record let me say to the younger generations, it used to not be this way, and as you already know it doesn’t have to stay this way or get worse.  Gun control has been a controversial issue as long as I can remember, going back to TV’s “Donahue” and “Lou Grant.”  In 1980 an editorial cartoon depicted a handgun and a packet of saccharine with two lines that read “One of these killed 34,000 people last year in America, the other a few rats in a laboratory.  Guess which one was banned?” There was a little headway in curbing handguns, our most pressing cause of shooting deaths and disabilities back then, by mandatory background checks and three-day waiting periods.  Opponents rightfully pointed out criminals get guns any way possible and avoid government interference.

Through the decades, the gun lobby was blamed for America’s proliferation of guns, which has culminated in the adage ‘Americans have more guns than people: three for every woman, man and child.’  But in reality the National Rifle Association’s Washington, D.C., lobby dollars are small potatoes compared with megabucks from the U.S. Chamber of Commerce and big pharma.  But I wonder if the NRA’s financial downturn is in any way caused by constant mass shootings, each year tens of thousands killed and disfigured.  Among our many rights in America is the right to sue anyone any time for any reason.  That is worth remembering in resolving political controversies, and usually it is the reason anything gets resolved legislatively.

It’s not the gun lobby that has created a nation with a number of psycho mass shooters.  Blame could be placed on parenting and neglect; crowded public schools where bullies seem the heroes; our free society of uncensored media including over-the-top grotesque horror and violent movies and computer games that by now a couple of generations have played to superiority.  When the objective of most computer games is to shoot and kill as many people-like animated characters as possible, how could the rush from winning time and again not warp a human’s psyche?  It’s fast-paced action; one sole focus; requiring a bit of hostility; power-inducing; lots of practice shooting; and not a moment to humanize anybody, real or animated, on the computer screen.

It was called desensitizing.  But that’s a term from the ’90s after everyone tried to understand Columbine.  Ever since, we’ve been reliving it somewhere in America, every day with most of us only aware of the few times the horror makes the national news: another mass shooting at bars, a synagogue, churches, high schools, elementary schools, mega stores, malls, country music concert, movie theaters, political rally, congressional baseball practice, or employee Christmas party.   

Now a military weapon being used on American streets is called the flamethrower, like the kind of weapon North Korean leader Kim Jong-un reportedly ordered to execute a former ally.  It seems a bullet-riddled body is no longer horrific enough, doesn’t leave the world to fully comprehend consummate power by a totalitarian leader so that all tremble in fear.  The flamethrower is popular in computer games and movies.  The enemy is no longer shot to death but torched.

Power to the people

In closing, I appreciate the DNC allowing me to rank your listed political issues for the coming storm of the 2020 presidential election.  Perhaps I’ve digressed, maybe with a flair for the dramatic.  You know our people tend to be soft at heart, easily persuaded to sympathy and sentimentality … yet also to reason and common sense for the common good.  If we’re to get tough with the ultimate American bully, then I say hit ’im with gun control.  This issue remains our nation’s worst and most horrible and unnecessary escalating problem.  Say this over and over again: Folks, we gotta have common sense gun control.  This is perpetual mass murder we’re talking about.  We have to deal with it now.  And let the people know there are solutions, compromises whereby 2nd-Amenders and gun-controllers give and take.   

Maybe I’ve come across as naïve, although I’ve lived all my life in gun-toting Texas yet may not realize the deep emotional attachment my fellow Americans have to their guns.  After all, these are people who will never relinquish their guns and proclaim, “You can take it from my cold dead hands!!”  How can we who prefer some kind of logical gun control counter that kind of fervor, whether it’s from thirty percent or half the country?  When it comes to ending mass shootings by military-style assault rifles, I’d rather be on the side of the angels than give up the fight to the cynical opposition whose only response is “America: Love it or leave it.”

Sincerely,

The Texas Tart

Facebook: To stay or not to stay? That is the question

Anyone else out there considering leaving Facebook like me?  I wrestle with it every day, more and more, as I realize the enormous political divide between the views of 98 percent of my Facebook friends and me.  This contrasts to maybe two percent, of my Facebook friends mind you, who share my views and opinions, you know, left of center.  Both sides cling so deeply to opinions as well as political, social and religious beliefs as to have been settled long ago and cemented in concrete.

It’s a tough 21st century decision leaving Facebook over other social media.  A tiny part of me wants to stay in the loop with old school friends, former colleagues and teachers, and of course a great big number of kinfolks.  I really want to hear about and see the latest pictures of everyone living their lives through their ups and downs: traveling adventures, having babies and grand young’uns, living all over the U.S. or just hangin’ in Texas, retiring, new projects, hobbies, announcing loved ones’ eternal departure or their own painful health developments along with prayer requests.  I like original snapshots with a sarcastic or humorous comment, such as misspelled words or miscalculated costs labeled on mega store shelves.  I’ve shared a few myself because I think I have a sense of humor.  There’s a lot to laugh at as we travel together through this time called life.

However, the biggest and growing part of me wants to leave Facebook altogether.  Cher did.  Or be like the cool ones who never joined, such as comedian Bill Maher.  He could foresee a problem with Facebook: allowing millions around the world to know every little move he makes and that despite celebrity, and more so because of it, it’s not a good thing.  Tens of millions checked out of Facebook after the 2016 election and the 17 federal investigations that all concluded Russia intentionally and with malice meddled with our American election and will do it again.  And they mostly and easily interfered through Facebook.

How?  By sowing seeds in thought, sight and emotionalism that were sure to divide us.  Our political enemies know us better than we know ourselves.  Russia in particular not only created fake news that to the untrained eye and mind seemed believable, but they also targeted about 80 million Facebookers to send the posts.  With help from a huge unknown internet information conglomerate, they sought specific like-minded people whose accounts on Facebook were an open page to conservative political, social and religious leanings.

Sometimes alt-right images and slogans landed on my Facebook news feed, sent from beloved family and friends, people I’ve known all my life.  And to this day, this is what takes up most of my viewing on Facebook.  For example, in the eight years leading up to the 2016 election, I scanned over a number of anti-Obama, anti-Michelle Obama and anti-Hillary Clinton bots.  These pieces were either written up like a serious news account of some fantastical feat or were simply disparaging pictures of one of these well known Democrats with a slogan like ‘Obama’s grandparents were CANNIBALS!’  Millions of Facebookers believed anything negative against Democrats in particular and with a click shared them to all their contacts including suspicious little ol’ former government reporter me.

Let your fingers do the walking

Some I’d research online and figure out that Obama’s referenced grandparents were the ones in Kenya and did not eat people.  But the bots came more and more, many coming my way which assured Obama was the devil and Trump the preferred choice of Jesus Christ.  Once Trump won the election, still the bots appeared and were shared in noticeable numbers.  The most ludicrous was a picture of the long-haired, bearded, robed, sandal-footed white Jesus that WASPs hearts aglow would instantly recognize.  ‘Jesus’ was oddly carrying an old-fashioned suitcase in each hand and even more strange running toward the viewer.  The slogan was something like “Obama kicked Jesus out of America.  But Trump welcomed Him back in!”  Holy moly. The old suitcases, and that Jesus would even need to carry them, were obvious signs to me that the image came straight from the former USSR, always decades behind the Western world when it came to new and improved things like washing machines and luggage.

But people I know believed these sentiments to be true, time and again, sharing these things mindlessly, no questions asked.  I think they thought they were sharing their Christian faith, like they wouldn’t be good Christians if they just trashed it, like I always did.  ‘It was an image of Jesus Christ, so the message must be meaningful.’

Along with political slogan images are those computer-created posters, along the lines of a photographed flower or sky or tree or ocean or dog or bird, a bit of nature and slice of life meant to lift the spirit, coupled with a not too profound statement like “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”  These are not original or created by anyone I know on Facebook.  I’d rather see original photos and artistic expressions with and without poetic food for thought.  But it seems most social media users enjoy sending to everyone bland stock photos with positive and of course pro-conservative and Biblical quotes or a one-sentence musing.  Saturday Night Live’s meandering “Deep Thoughts” comes to mind.

For my part, I have shared articles and imagery/quotes on occasion when the moment in history is relevant.  In other words, I think before sharing.  And when I quip, I review and edit my post for brevity and clarity so that I say exactly what I mean.  But recently when I’m not busy and have lots of time to kill, I get into the Facebook feed more than I ought.  If and when I add my two cents to a thread, man the heat turns up … on me.  And I realize my place, alone with few liberals and Democrats.  [Come on, guys, where are all you in the recesses of Facebook and cyberspace?  You make up half the country; you say more than half.]  And another thing, my Facebook account’s got me wondering how come hardly any relatives and friends think like me?    

The thing about Facebook and any written or copy-and-paste commentary is the loss of human interaction.  No vocal inflection or tone.  Readers can’t tell if what is presented in quips and retorts is supposed to be sarcastic, witty, sad or aggravating.  Human emotion and intention are lost through our use and overuse of Facebook and e-mail for that matter.

So, why do I stay on Facebook?  Well, one positive has been participating in a few Facebook groups like for Beatles’ fans, classical music lovers, humane society, family page, travel group, and even worldwide spirituality.  That last one gets a long list of participants from various world religions.  It’s interesting philosophy, so I stick.  Also, I produced my own Facebook pages, at the suggestion of Facebook corporate, for my educational nonprofit and this blog.  So there would be a problem leaving, if either of my business pages is looked at in the future.  Darn.  What to do?

All my troubles seemed so far away

It’s not so much the Russian bot thing or proliferation of real fake news.  But the revelations, the political and social and religious beliefs—and the staunch unwillingness to support another’s right to a different view, as Americans used to and were willing to die for—coupled with the vitriol at President Obama and Hillary Clinton, and now that they are out of the picture, nonstop passed-along and shared internet-created by God-knows-who half-alarming half-sarcastic slogans about any controversial Democrat elected official and any American who remains liberal minded.

It’s like we’re experiencing another McCarthy era. Instead of ganging up on alleged commies, it’s just American Democrats, again half the population if not more I’m told.  I always knew the Right felt the Left were red commies, nowadays collectively referred to as socialists.  But I grew up in and was shaped and educated by the most liberal era in American history, the 1970s.  Today the malapropisms and bigoted rantings of TV’s Archie Bunker are revered and respected.  Millions of Americans believe that guy was right all along.  And equally loud-mouthed liberal Maude must have been dead wrong, especially when the over-40-year-old woman had an abortion.

I suppose when it comes to scrolling Facebook, I can just skip over the mounting derogatory slurs against my political peeps and views.  Someone advised I don’t have to respond to any inflammatory shares.  As for original comments with which I disagree or would like to point out another view, I get in more trouble for sending a quick counter.  There will be hell to pay.  And life is short.

Yet we are drawn to our smart phones and more often than not, we of a certain age I suppose, to the Facebook feed.  Checking its entirety takes up too much of our time and we are learning detrimentally affects our well being.  The latest fad besides closing our account on Facebook is to leave it alone for a week, with most participants maintaining a sudden sense of … happiness.  Yes, I remember being genuinely happy.  It had to do with being oblivious, of spender in the grass.

Remember how happy we were before Facebook?  Even way back before the internet and social media?  Before we knew every little thing about each other: our beliefs on the two no-no’s of conversation when trying to get along: politics and religion?  What a bunch of dopes we’ve become!  I get it now: None of us is ever gonna persuade another to see an issue like we do.  I’ve seen the threads of arguments go both ways on Facebook until finally one person decides no more—not in defeat, just out of emotional and intellectual exhaustion.  It is only then, when we close Facebook and put away the smart phone, that our brain returns to reality: still capable of seeing, smelling, hearing and feeling the beautiful world around us with all God’s creatures living together in harmony naturally.

Abortion: No reason, no discussion. No reasonable discussion?

First, let’s agree: nobody believes in abortion.  There are no greeting cards to sympathize or celebrate it.  For many women it must be the worst decision of their lives, often to erase a previously bad decision; just as surely as for some to erase a horrible criminal act, and more rarely but truly to save their own lives.  The problem is: abortion remains legal as many Americans believe in their heart and soul this procedure for any reason at any time is always wrong, a sin, a crime against humanity, an abomination to God.  The other problem is just the mention of the word—such as New York state legislature’s recent ‘abortion law’ that would allow late term if and when necessary to protect the health and life of the pregnant woman or teen.

Whatever stage of pregnancy, we have an image of a fully formed baby.  He or she is already named and characterized with his or her whole life planned out, if only in the hopes and prayers of others related and unrelated.  That a late-term abortion inflicts pain and suffering on the unborn is of grave concern to those who oppose the procedure.  New York was chastised as legalized baby killers by those who sincerely mourn the terminated unborn.

But … not one word, not one mention, consideration, concern, sympathy or empathy for the one who carries the unborn, the mother whose life is deemed by her physician to be at risk if she goes through with the pregnancy.  Imagine: her deep sorrow, her family’s heartbreak, the loss of faith at being placed in such an impossible and unforgiving situation.  Most people know no one who’s had to make such a choice.  Such terminated pregnancies are one to two percent, but they happen.

Science v God

The U.S. Supreme Court has heard several cases to reverse Roe v Wade.  Instead they tossed the hot political potato back to the states and let them decide.  The Court wisely perceives the issue of abortion, whether a majority of citizens is pro life or pro choice, is rooted by communities, state and region and is not universally shared throughout the entire nation—because this national issue has been one long screaming match with equal numbers embroiled in political battle.  Through the years a few states banned any and all abortions regardless of rape and incest or life-threatening fetal deformity or maternal illness likely to end in the woman’s or teen’s death.  Texas reduced medical facilities that perform abortions to less than a half dozen.  Along with mandatory waiting periods prior to obtaining an abortion, states require parental notification, mandated reading, and viewing the fetus while listening to scripted dialogue.  

In 1967 California and Colorado were first to legalize abortion in cases of rape, incest, severe handicap or pregnancies that threaten the life of the mother.  In the formation of a new human being, a lot can go wrong with the fetus and the mother.  Though almost unheard of nowadays, healthy young adult pregnant women have been known to suddenly die of natural causes or infections.  Pregnant women have been known to develop diabetes, life-threatening high blood pressure, cancer, stroke or heart attack … the list goes on.  These are not scare tactics to prevent the propagation of the species.  But a third of all pregnancies do end in miscarriage.  [That’s another hot political issue that had been questioned by male lawmakers who assume women are to blame for miscarriage instead of learning the common interruption is of natural design, simply survival of the fittest.]  The Texas Legislature passed a law that requires a death certificate and formal burial of fetal tissue from both abortion and miscarriage.  Good grief!  Have we all gone mad?  Has repulsion over abortion led to all loss of human logic and reasoning?

If college students in a course called The Spiritual and Moral Lives of Children and Adolescents could discuss abortion sans emotion, why can’t everyone?  I thought this that night when the discussion took place, in a class of women, mostly teachers, taught by a revered male theology professor and Christian minister.  “I can’t believe we’re discussing abortion,” I commented during the lesson on considering feminist spirituality.  An older classmate remarked back to me, “This is grad school.  We should be able to talk about anything.”

So we did, calmly and rationally, one voice at a time.  What I heard were women who understood and support another’s right to choose.  I was surprised to hear it … spoken aloud … confidently as if this decision was common sense and everybody knows it.  In my world most people are vehemently against.  Some of my friends made known their decision in childhood, if you can believe kids talked about abortion in those days.  We did.  I’ve made my life’s work to seek the truth, the facts, the reasons why, along with all points of view.  But this lone subject and emphatic opinion has been and remains so loud and earnest, so emotionally and religiously overwhelming that I have had to force myself to think otherwise.  Too, life has taught me to ponder the loudest mouth.

For my class comment, I shared a recollection from the spring of 1989.  Surgeon General C. Everett Koop was making the TV rounds of morning shows to announce a federal report on the mental health of women who had had an abortion.  He was pressed to collect the data by the Reagan administration.  But when Koop’s report found no scientific basis to support the premise or assumption that abortion causes lasting psychological harm to women, the Administration did not want it released.  Dr. Koop, himself pro-life, felt his duty to make the findings public.  He reported the vast majority of women in the study went on to finish high school and/or college—the main reason they opted for abortion—eventually married, gave birth to healthy children and led productive lives.  The majority agreed abortion was the worst decision of their lives but yet at the time was the right thing to do.  About two percent of women in the report experienced lingering emotional distress directly related to their decision to abort a pregnancy, Dr. Koop pointed out.  In the general population, mental illness including depression and anxiety impacts a much larger segment, from ten to twenty percent, I concluded for the class.

When millions of people ban together in a cause they believe immoral and can cry about it, it becomes mass hysteria.  Pro life or pro choice is an individual’s deeply-held feeling, opinion and personal belief.  The U.S. government got involved in the ’70s, and remains involved for now, to protect a female’s right to control her body.  The government cannot yet demand she stay pregnant regardless of developmental or maternal health.  That last part upsets anti-abortion proponents, pro-lifers.  But now we see that even the woman’s or teen’s health is not regarded as worthy of life, not even worth mentioning.  Life begins at conception, they’ve determined.  But what about the pregnant person’s right to life?

No greater love

Perhaps when a female becomes pregnant, she should sign a legal document implicitly stating her wish in the event the pregnancy causes medically documented risk to her life in the first, second or third trimester … No, that would not suffice for the millions who would rather the unborn be born and the mother die than a pregnancy terminated in order for her to live.

Visceral feelings about abortion, in the worst case scenario, and the doctors who perform it along with lawmakers who protect it, overshadow this silent universal truth: An expectant mother would gladly exchange her life for that of her unborn offspring.

And if this life-affirming rationale were not true for every pregnant female, opponents of abortion would want to interfere.

Decisions like this, heart breaking to the core of the human spirit, are intensely private, personal, medical—nobody’s business and not to be judged.     

Now, let’s agree that life is hard, harder for some than others, and sometimes there isn’t an answer regardless of our personal ethics, religious beliefs and spiritual views.  This subject has taken up decades of our time.  Yet it still demands a lot more thought … in quiet contemplation … away from the crowds.

Recalling those blue-collar blues, then and now

Yessir, I can surely sing ’em.  I come from proud working-class roots.  Except my mom was a teacher, but society kinda treats teachers like glorified babysitters instead of professionals.  Though I’ve had a couple of professional careers, I ain’t ashamed to have used more muscle than mind in many jobs throughout my life.  My first were menial, like baby sitting or cashiering at an ice cream parlor and later a barbecue joint.  Once I became of legal working age, I was thrilled to work part time at Sears at the mall.  It was the ’70s, and though Sears was losing out against rivals like JC Penney, I was happy to finally be one of those high school teen-agers with a secure job: one where I didn’t have to deal with food (except when scheduled to work the store’s nut stand) and could wear nice clothes like an adult.  I was assigned to the children’s clothing department which featured a Dallas Cowboys’ fan shop.  I wore dresses, hose and platform shoes while folding and hanging clothes but mostly picking up after customers.  It was then I realized how inconsiderate society is when shopping.  But it was a job, so hey.
 
A year later I wound up working part time as a newspaper reporter, covering the high school beat for my hometown paper.  The pay was $10 an article, which in those days had to be retyped by a typesetter.  I was a natural at the job, turned in two or three stories a week plus a column, and wore whatever I wanted though always dressing professionally when interviewing.  I got my first taste of a profession, a career.
 
I worked my way through college.  As a freshman, I tried hard to get a job at the local mall or the town newspaper.  But the timing wasn’t right.  Desperate for some source of income that would provide the incidentals of a young lady, I ended up working at a sandwich shop across from the university.  Never was really good at handling food though.  And then the customers wanted their food fast.  I was … too neat.  And slow.  And after a couple of months got the heave ho.  Just as well.  I dreaded closing by myself late at night, having to sweep and mop the entire cement floor, and then cleaning the toilets in the men’s and women’s restrooms.  P U!
 
I ventured into the logical working gal’s job of waitress.  But again, me and food jobs don’t get along.  After six weeks, I was informed I was unable to manage five tables at a time and was summarily fired during the shift.  Shoot, I hoped that job would be my college gig for spending money.  Cash tips could be $60 a night.  No one ever told me I wasn’t doing a good job.
 
But the close of a door opens a window, and mine was a much better job as a reporter for the university news service.  I was in my element, sniffing out stories and whipping up articles, using whatever typewriter I could find on campus because I did not have one of my own.  This was in the days before personal computers and laptops.  This job, however, was grant funded which meant it was precarious.  I earned $200 every two weeks and lived in an on-campus apartment, really feeling grown up for a college kid.  I was praying this job would be my lengthy gig to get me through college.  But ’tweren’t to be.  The Reagan years ushered in the Gramm-Rudman budget cuts interestingly toward colleges and universities and work-study students like me.  The job lasted one year.

Of books and nooks
The college helped me find another job, this time in the library.  I was the assistant to the assistant music librarian.  And again proved to be a natural with the prerequisite clerical tasks: naturally organized, accurate, thorough, respectful of deadlines—I proved to be the whole ball of wax.  The job required researching copyright and other publishing information for hundreds of sound recordings, books and journals—all in my college major of music.  I learned to use the computer in this library job.  Part of the work dealt with typing all data to replace the card catalog drawers.  The work had to be completely accurate, not one mistake.  Or you’d have to get back into the computer and fix it.  Anyway, I was paid the hourly wage of the day and worked a few afternoons a week.  It was enough to get by a little.  My boss and I got along fabulously.  She gave me a birthday gift, an album of Gershwin’s classical music.
 
Along my college route, however, another snag occurred.  Long story short, I wasn’t graduating as soon as I had planned.  I prematurely quit the music library job and ended up searching for another work-study position.  All along, throughout college I wrote freelance articles for the city paper but never was hired for steady work like in high school.  Reading the posted campus want ads, I saw a job for writing tutor in the library writing lab.  I applied and was interviewed.  The tutors were paid slightly more than minimum wage due to our proven college-level writing expertise: We helped peers formulate and write better papers for required coursework.  The writing lab director was impressed with my clerical background and hired me not only to tutor but to keep up with and file all the paperwork.  Again, I excelled at the chores.  But by my final year of college, even a poor college student as I was no longer qualified for federal work-study.  The writing lab director kept me on, shuffling my salary into another account, as she explained it’s all just paperwork.  
 
Cutting to the chase, I graduated … only to be unemployed for a year and a half, tried my hand at piano and voice lessons and substitute teaching before getting a job back at the college library as binding assistant.  I prepared hundreds of books and journals for professional binding and oversaw a crew of college students with repairing ripped and missing pages and worn spines.  The job required no degree and was indeed blue collar.  Everyone at the library knew me, so I was hired quickly.  It was a living for several months, but I ended up in the big city to pursue a profession: teaching or newspapering—wherever life leads.   
 
Life is a journey
Even as a graduate, I realized I would have to pay work dues.  Like I did in high school, I walked the entire mall and applied everywhere (except the food court where I wasn’t wanted anyway).  I was called by the art-frame store manager several times to be assistant manager.  Though I love art, I kept passing, holding out for something else.  Heck, I probably should’ve just taken the job.
 
Realizing I wasn’t going to be teaching the upcoming school year, I earnestly looked into joining the Peace Corps.  They were hiring college grads to teach English in the former Eastern bloc nations of Europe.  On the application I also selected to work in Africa or India.  But life took me back to the newspaper biz as a clerk at a big-city paper.  We clerks hung out together during lunch, worked on all kinds of projects like compiling contest entries including the Pulitzer Prize.  We glued and pasted articles in scrapbooks while chatting about our college days and wondering what to do now as graduates.  We earned like $6 an hour.  But I took full advantage of the opportunity before me, frequently tossing story ideas to the features editor and got one approved to write and publish, a huge triumph.  In a couple of years the paper went out of business as cities became one-paper towns.  This was before the internet, social media, blogs and dubious news outlets.
 
How did I survive?  By getting hired part-time at the homeless shelter at which I had been volunteering.  Now I was the weekend night monitor, sleeping overnight Fridays and Saturdays with the homeless.  Dressed in jeans, Beatles T-shirt and sneakers with walkie-talkie and master keys in hand, I patrolled the hallways and checked the rooms, making sure occupants were where they were supposed to be and that there were no drugs or booze of which I kept a partial blind eye.  I also had to oversee guys working community service by serving meals and cleaning the kitchen.  By day, well I subbed as a public school teacher anywhere anytime any school any subject.  So I had to switch mindsets from professional to working class, know how to act professionally then dress down to hang with the underprivileged.  I was careful not to be smug with the homeless or less than a consummate professional in dress and deed with school students and principals.
 
This exhausting whirlwind ended when I was hired full time at a used book store.  With my library experience, it was more my speed.  I could see potential for moving up in the corporation but still pursued other jobs, casting my net across the state.  On my two weekdays off, I drove all over Texas seeking work, filling out job applications (none were online yet) and doing some interviews.  To my complete surprise, I ended up back in the newspaper biz as a real-deal reporter.  I took to the job like a fish in water.  A few years later, I was hired at another newspaper.  A career was building.  Several years later, I wound up at another big-city paper then within a couple of years crossed over into teaching, building my original career aspiration sixteen years after college.  I kept up the pace with all this career stuff for close to thirty years, even earned a master’s degree along the way.
 
Free as a bird
Then boom.  Right or wrong, I took early retirement, pursued some risky ventures (like that nonprofit still in federal limbo due to the shutdown) and applied online for close to a thousand jobs—all easily done these days with one click.  Even so, finding a new job has not been easy.  To pay the bills, I’ve returned to my working-class roots … handling food, this time at a grocery store: schlepping gallons of milk and heavy bags of dog food or cases of bottled water across the counter, carefully handling cartons of eggs and bread, packing every little thing as if it were my own.  I’ve developed a chronic numbness from shoulders to fingertips and when a full day is done, my body aches like I’ve been run over by a train. But I experienced similar pain by the end of each school day teaching a decade and a half; it comes from mandatory standing. Yet I handle grocerying with a friendly smile and sincere kindness.  After all, there’s no need to be hasty or rude to paying customers.  I get the picture of what business is all about. To make a long day go by faster, I remember my newly created mantra, one for the working folks: Work, break. Work, lunch. Work, break. Work, leave.
 
As for my third act, this blog is part of it.  Who knows what else may come along in life, the thing John Lennon said happens while we’re busy making other plans?  Now that I’ve grown comfortably into middle age, I am more at ease.  The urgency to get on with the rest of my life and make a spectacular splash and workworkworkworkwork is pretty much gone—though I’m not dead yet. I figure another twenty years or more remains of work energy.
 
The inadvertent time off from career has been reflective.  Diving back into the working class, a job that requires no degree, has been not so much humbling as for me expected.  Growing up in a family that would rather be the hired hand than the big boss man, I’ve come to see a job is just a job. No need to look down on yourself for what you do for a living.
 
I’ve never thought any job I’ve had as dead-end.  I always saw potential for advancement, maybe not in the exact career I wanted or anticipated, but management maybe.  Looking back at a working life, I’ve thrived on hard work with few rewards, keeping busy while earning never-enough pay, earning my keep best I can, doing my part to help others, maybe leaving folks in a better frame of mind.  Building a career, like building a life, takes everything within us: energy, smarts, foresight, and the ability to roll with the punches because there are a lot of them and they hurt real bad.  Life is our own creation.  Relying on the internet with its plethora of ‘job’ listings—real and bogus—cannot take the place of our individuality, experience, expertise and self worth nor the spiritual bond among people.
 
For all the kids out there starting out, the journey toward work and careers is really an individual pursuit of happiness.  Don’t ever forget that.  If a working job comes along while waiting for the big career profession, consider taking it for awhile.  The work we do, the job title and menial tasks, is not what makes us who we are.  But it develops the interesting trait of character and most of all teaches us what we still need to learn about ourselves and how to treat others who come in and out of our lives.  In other words, like life itself, no job lasts forever.

Gotta loathe our federal elected officials

I am ashamed of each and every one of our elected men and women in Washington, D.C.  The only people who would play with 800,000 federal workers and their families while screwing over millions of American citizens in the process are fat, lazy, rich millionaires and even fatter billionaires.  The only obligation you have while holding your powerful office is to keep the United States government operating.  You should not be able to sleep each night in a warm cozy bed while ruining less fortunate and powerless American families.
 
Get back to ‘negotiating.’  Eat crow.  Forget about a stupid 5th century, environmentally unsound 2,000-mile wall between the U.S. and Mexico border.  For 200 years, our country has managed quite well without one.  Drugs will always be with us.  The need for drugs and the risk of addiction and overdose or addiction management will always be a part of the human condition.  That’s how our nation should deal with our big drug problem, and the educational and psychological method takes generations of time and effort.  Our drug crisis should be dealt with by our citizens, families, churches, schools and society rather than the government.  But the complex international drug trade is not the real reason for a border wall with Mexico.
 
Back to the federal shutdown, all of our national leaders from Congress to the White House must learn how to practice the Art of Diplomacy.  Government is not like running a business.  It is far more important and involves the lives of tens of millions of tax-paying citizens.  Businesses come and go.  A smart business person knows most will not last more than 30 years.  But a democrazy—excuse me—democracy must endure.  It requires constant effort, hard work, difficult decisions, painful emotions, sleepless nights, concern for the greater good, selflessness and most importantly intelligence … as was phrased in our nation’s beginnings, common sense.
 
Enough with the cruelty trickling down from the very top of the U.S. power structure.  Everything in life is about compromise.  Poor people know how to do it every day.  Families with one TV compromise on the shows they will watch.  They compromise at the grocery store when deciding which is cheaper fresh fruit or canned, which is more important new towels or milk.
 
March of the penguins
Where are the chambers of commerce, bankers and the rest of the corporate suits taking to the streets demanding an end to another childish national government shutdown?  They’re the ones who understand local economics: how every dollar spent in a community rolls over seven times, meaning seven businesses benefit from people with jobs.
 
Shutting down the government and ruining livelihoods should be illegal in the United States of America.  We’re not a banana republic where a game of chicken is played by the powerful, the heartless and the gutless.  Or are we?  The strength of a leader is not measured in fear but character.  The character of a leader is developed by having actually worked from the bottom up instead of growing up with a silver spoon in the mouth.  A leader should reflect an exemplary moral life grounded in decency and empathy toward our fellow man, not brute force just to break the will of others.

Our national leaders have forgotten who they work for and who elected them.  The American rich no doubt have the upper hand financially.  But their tiny numbers are no match to the hundreds of millions of us who have to work to pay bills and actually want to work for self worth.  We the People must remind our elected officials they work for us.  In this country, pal, the People are in charge.  Every elected official works for us and is paid by our sweat, physical or mental or both.  You have no right to shutdown our federal government while expecting the most vital work still be done by employees without pay.  It’s uncivilized, moronic, and unAmerican, and we will not tolerate it. Consider this a final warning, a come-to-Jesus meeting.

Ready for the ninth and final year of the 20teens?

As we face the end of a tumultuous decade, let us not be downtrodden but prepare for the most spectacular event certainly yet to come, if history tells us anything.  The 21st century teen years were not unlike living with a surly adolescent: pushing toward unfettered independence while desperately seeking guidance and assurance of parental love; staying out beyond curfew, mouthing off and breaking other rules to push boundaries and discover if any punishment still stings or breaks the will; learning to drive as anxious backseat parents pray silently for their safe return and instant maturity of their teen-age offspring; breaking away from believing everything ever taught by any adult while developing their own cynical if not radical views on complex issues like politics and religion.  Well, parental old guard, we made it through with sanity intact, some of us even spotting a few rays of light that will transform rebellious youth into admirable friends, someday.  
 
In this decade the world reached consummate concern for the future of life on planet Earth with the Paris climate accord, and Americans reincarnated the Women’s Rights movement.  With more mass shootings than any previous decade (a mass shooting every single day in America), future legislation in this final decade year or the following year will undoubtedly address the issue soberly than ever before and do something that will significantly halt our national recurring horror especially among our children at school.  As soon as Trump swarmed in as president, tens of millions of Americans and others around the world protested in the streets not only making known their distrust of Trumpian politics and the man himself but maintaining the election and outcome were dubious and possibly corrupt.  A return to civility and common decency among politicians will likely prevent another national election of the biggest-and-baddest ever again.
 
Number 9
But 2019 holds promise for mankind as a review of past final decade years have shown:
 
1909—The NAACP (National Association for the Advancement of Colored People) founded by mostly white Americans appalled by routine lynching of black Americans;
1919—The League of Nations formed, later to be reconstituted as the United Nations, to prevent future world wars and political and economic catastrophes;
1929—The stock market crash, though ushering in the Great Depression, would lead to a New Deal president with innovative and far-reaching public projects putting Americans back to work as well as setting controls on the banking industry while federally insuring depositors;
1939—World War II officially begins along with the ultra secretive Manhattan Project that would eventually ensure world dominance of the United States at the cost of our vigilance to prevent a future nuclear war;
1949—Communism takes brutal control in China while ironically novelist George Orwell publishes his foreboding political satire Nineteen Eighty Four, which depicts the real story of life within a country of thought control, word removal, surveillance cameras, and on-cue weeping by devotees of Big Brother;
1959—The Twilight Zone begins airing nationwide, each black-and-white episode probing the human imagination with godly or godless wonder but mostly bringing to life the deepest darkest fears of America’s post-war generation not to mention the little Baby Boomers watching each week beside their parents;
1969—THE most important moment in human history, televised by computer technology, the world witnessing three brave American astronauts landing then walking on the moon, an incredulous feat boosting American pride despite hostility and division while leaving most feeling insignificant when viewing Earth from outer space;
1979—Middle East politics, culture and religion force themselves permanently into the everyday psyche of a previously oblivious free-wheeling, car-loving, get-up-and-go American society;
1989—The fall of the Berlin Wall meant Western culture and capitalism ‘beat’ the propped-up utopia promised but never realized for decades among citizens forced to live behind the Iron Curtain of the Union of the Soviet Socialist Republics;
1999—The Columbine High School shooting massacre, along with a Fort Worth church shooting at a teen service, indicated a horrific rift in American mentality when it comes to guns, gun rights, constitutional liberty, violent imagery portrayed in video games and movies, and mental illness—all of which to this day remain unresolved and incomprehensible yet politically strengthened, divisive and socially ruinous as ever an issue faced by Americans;
2009—The first African-American elected President of the United States, Barack Obama remained calm, cool and collected in every crisis and political battle, often resolved by the U.S. Supreme Court as Congress refused to practice diplomacy during his two terms in office.     
 
21st century teens
Highlights of this decade could be: Obamacare; Russia playing Americans via social media; Curiosity Rover on Mars; Lance Armstrong; Bill Cosby; Ebola; ISIS; Black Lives Matter; same-sex marriage; the Trump presidential campaign and election; Hillary Clinton, first woman to run by a major party for U.S. president; Brexit, indicating all’s not well in globalism; Me Too; NFL players kneeling during the National Anthem; removal of Confederate statues; Unite the Right rally chant “Jews will not replace us”; and the deadly opioid crisis.
 
ISIS terrorist attacks continued worldwide and at home, from the office of a French satirical publication to the Boston Marathon; from a Paris football stadium, restaurants and rock concert to a San Bernardino Christmas party and an Orlando nightclub.
 
But a review of the past nine years in America shows increased deadly mass shootings that left hundreds dead and many more wounded, physically and emotionally:
2011: at a political rally; 
2012: at a movie theater and then at an elementary school;
2015: at an African-American church;
2016: at a nightclub in Orlando;
2017: at a Baptist church and then at a country show in Las Vegas.
 
What will be the memorable history of 2018?  Probably more mass shootings like the one at a Florida high school.  But that time youth found the wherewithal to create a movement of their own, one for the nation really, those of us sick and tired of legislators sitting on their butts and unwilling to do something to prevent mass shooting murder sprees.  The first Never Again rally brought marches in every state as well as sympathizing nations.  One march was in New York City where none other than Paul McCartney was spotted marching with the crowd.  Asked why he was participating, his answer was simple as he explained he, too, has been impacted by gun violence, recalling a dear friend shot to death.
 
Yet school shooting massacres didn’t stop as somehow we were surprised with the same story from the small Texas town of Santa Fe.  Mass shootings continued nationwide with reporters killed inside the newsroom of The Capital in Maryland, youth at a gamer tournament, Jews at a synagogue, and young adults at a California bar. 
 
If there is an optimistic capper for the Teen decade of the 21st century, 2019 would produce meaningful gun legislation and election security to ensure the sanctity of our democratic process.  As for the nation’s citizens, a return to public civility in tongue, tone, tweet and email would go a long way in restoring American trust in our fellow Americans regardless of political beliefs and affiliations.  We can vote for whomever we want. Remember?

Along the same lines, Americans say they don’t know who to trust when it comes to the news, referring to online and cable TV products. For that matter, Americans aren’t that concerned when journalists are shot in newsrooms or hacked to death by order of a national leader, one who does not support free speech or a free press.  A 21st century American president who refers to the media as the ‘enemy of the people’ along with national apathy toward journalism and journalists is the most incredible and detrimental development to come out of the 20teens, in my opinion.  As adolescents are prone to think they know everything already, perhaps the forthcoming decade will bring maturity and the serious mindful responsible actions of a grown-up.

Twelve daze of Trumpmess

On the first day of Trumpmess, our country came to see

a federal inquiry!

On the second day of Trumpmess, our country came to see

two hushed honeys and a federal inquiry!

On the third day of Trumpmess, our country came to see

three years for fixin’, two hushed honeys

and a federal inquiry!

On the fourth day of Trumpmess, our country came to see

4 a.m. tweeting, three years for fixin’, two hushed honeys

and a federal inquiry!

On the fifth day of Trumpmess, our country came to see

five plea deals!

4 a.m. tweets, three prison years, two hushed honeys

and a federal inquiry!

On the sixth day of Trumpmess, our country came to see

six sneaky staffers,

five plea deals!

4 a.m. tweets, three prison years, two hushed honeys

and a federal inquiry!

On the seventh day of Trumpmess, our country came to see

seven Russian theories, six sneaky staffers,

five plea deals!

4 a.m. tweets, three prison years, two hushed honeys

and a federal inquiry!

On the eighth day of Trumpmess, our country came to see

eight victory rallies, seven Russian theories, six sneaky staffers,

five plea deals!

4 a.m. tweets, three prison years, two hushed honeys

and a federal inquiry!

On the ninth day of Trumpmess, our country came to see

nine DNC hackers, eight victory rallies, seven Russian theories,

six sneaky staffers,

five plea deals!

4 a.m. tweets, three prison years, two hushed honeys

and a federal inquiry!

On the tenth day of Trumpmess, our country came to see

ten legal experts, nine DNC hackers, eight victory rallies,

seven Russian theories, six sneaky staffers,

five plea deals!

4 a.m. tweets, three prison years, two hushed honeys

and a federal inquiry!

On the eleventh day of Trumpmess, our country came to see

11 a.m. work days, ten legal experts, nine DNC hackers,

eight victory rallies,seven Russian theories, six sneaky staffers,

five plea deals!

4 a.m. tweets, three prison years, two hushed honeys

and a federal inquiry!

On the twelfth day of Trumpmess, our country came to see

twelve meddlin’ Russians, 11 a.m. work days, ten legal experts,

nine DNC hackers, eight victory rallies, seven Russian theories,

six sneaky staffers,

five plea deals!

4 a.m. tweets, three prison years, two hushed honeys …

and a federal inquiry!! 

Leave it to Communist China to eradicate Muslim terrorism

Have you heard what China is doing to a minority Muslim population?  From the sound of it, they’re ‘nipping in the bud’ religious terrorist attacks, schemes, plans and thoughts.  The Communist government is attacking this murderous global problem by special indoctrination camps for certain undesirables, like Orwell’s 1984 and Hitler’s Nazi Germany.  The goal is to destroy the Muslim’s belief in not only Islam but any religion.  Of this goal, Communist China will no doubt be 100 percent effective.  What’s the other option for Muslims practicing their faith in China: death?

According to several recent news reports, a million members of a Muslim minority called the Uyghurs (pronounced ‘wee-gers’), who have traditionally lived near the Mongolian border, have been rounded up and forced to reside in camps.  There they will undergo forced assimilation which no doubt will include learning to appreciate the social equality and efficiency of communism while also destroying one’s intellectual, emotional and spiritual bond to religion such as belief in God or Allah.  Remaining Uyghurs not yet forced into camps must welcome Communist Party workers into their homes for inspections.  The Uyghur community maintains every family now has at least one member in the indoctrination camps.

The Uyghur minority is objecting to this mass humiliation as a violation of their human rights.  They claim they are not ethnically Chinese, and their land was not part of China until invasion and annexation in the mid 20th century.  Uyghurs have been discriminated against as workers unless they prove to be devout followers of Chinese communism and enthusiastic members of the Party.

Center of the world

Renowned for audaciously ruthless global business ventures, from mining Africa to building islands in the international waters of the South China Sea, China has patiently watched as the U.S. and other nations ineffectively deal with terrorism in their own countries.  Along with sporadic violence instigated by Al-Qaeda and ISIS, China diligently observed two decades of perpetual war in the Middle East which has left hundreds of millions dead and wounded.  For its role in leading the Middle East war on terrorism, the United States owes China more than $1 trillion.

China has had its share of Muslim terrorist attacks within its borders.  But when it comes to China, communism is going to defeat any other way of life.  Their brand of communism includes torture, mind control and death.  China’s Cultural War of the 1940s began by rounding up all teachers and the educated who were summarily slaughtered and culminated in forcing Buddhist monks and nuns to copulate in public.  China is not like the United States and Western Europe, both unwilling to violate human rights even in war.  China does not adhere to or believe in a human being’s inalienable rights of freedom, free speech, free press, or individual pursuits of happiness.  That is the way communism remains in China; it dominates any citizen’s thought to the contrary.  As for religion, God, spiritual beliefs: that will be crushed if detected in the human brain of a fellow countryman.

In the 1980s, China permitted Western influence and culture, even Christianity, but college students began protesting, wanting total freedom not just a taste.  Then in 1989 China’s military massacred an estimated 10,000 protesters in Tiananmen Square.  Life soon was restored to normalcy and faithful communism with a sustaining vengeance.  China’s communism is like a plague that destroys all mankind or like an alien invasion of humanity as quietly as “Invasion of the Body Snatchers.”  Creepy, how Communist China has yet to fall like Eastern Europe and the USSR.  Makes you wonder what they are holding onto.  The answer is supreme, glorious, indestructible power.

With a population of one billion, modern China is bustling with a generation far wealthier than Chairman Mao would have preferred.  After all, communism is supposed to be ‘all for one and one for all,’ meaning everyone receives the same earnings from a government stipend regardless of occupation.  Money, or the love of it, ultimately will change the hearts and minds of the Chinese.  Communism pretends to hate capitalism and free enterprise, but no one earns money better than China, mostly on the backs of a slave workforce.

So now China joins the rest of the world in dealing with global terrorism stemming from radicalized Muslim communities and individuals.  Throughout the 21st century, China has watched war-weary Americans and other international soldiers return to their homelands—presumably demoralized; with some blind, deaf, amputated, emasculated.  The beauty of Communist China is it will once and for all defeat the global enemy of terrorism in as much as it relates to religion.  A quick online look at the extremely fit and insurmountable Chinese soldiers, marching goose step in precision along their nation’s latest artillery and killing machines, one foresees extreme victory and rather soon.  Communist China is more than willing to pay the price to eradicate Muslim terrorism within a vast expansive territory.  Similar to the terrorists themselves, the Chinese method is simple: obliterate all human rights, especially religious beliefs and practices.  China has shown the world what it takes to install and maintain Godless communism: consummate brutality physically, psychologically and spiritually.

Hail to Susie: a dog’s life lived well, no need to clone

First thing I did after moving into my first house in 2004 was to get a dog.  I searched the SPCA, intent on getting the smallest dog, which turned out to be a 19-pound black-and-tan dachshund mix already named Susie.  As all the big horse dogs barked and jumped excitedly begging me to spring ’em from the joint, Susie was the only one who was solemn, laying belly down on the cement ground, her head on the floor and brown brow patches moving curiously  like she thought she’d gotten herself into a pickle.  An attendant took her out of the cage to greet me.  Surprised to be chosen, Susie wagged her tail and appeared ready to go, as if she’d been waiting just for me.  I paid the fee and drove her home in my car.  Soon as we arrived, Susie shot out and ran into the backyard, bouncing in the grass, smiling with glee, happy to finally be free.

I’ve never had a dog like Susie.  I cannot walk her on a leash because she pulls hard, like she’s on a mission, sniffing out critters alive and dead or thrown away foodstuffs.  She is the only dog I ever had to enroll in obedience school which both of us, dog and master, had to attend.  She only learned one lesson, to sit at my loud and stern command.  And she never got the position quite right, but we compromised with her laying belly down with head up and alert to my command, awaiting a treat.  I read about dachshunds and found two things: Dachshunds are indomitable, and they won’t stay in a backyard.  To their minds, the whole world is their backyard.  In other words, Susie’s nature was to get out of the fence and explore.  During most of her life, she did this many times, exhausting my husband and me while the neighbors got to know her name well and be on the lookout, too.  We learned to always check the yard for her newly dug holes to crawl underneath a wood fence.  We’d plug them with large rocks, bricks and heavy cement blocks.  Still, Susie was strong enough to move them or dig other holes to plan an escape.

She remains a nuisance whenever we come home or anyone else enters our house.  She enthusiastically jumps on people, demanding a greeting and attention (one of the reasons I took her to obedience school).  We figured she was lonely and eventually brought home another SPCA dog, only to find Susie if not restrained jumps on anyone coming in the house.  It’s friendly of her but bad dog.  We’ve taken her to the city’s small dog park where Susie designates herself the official gate greeter to other dogs.  All the weenie dogs gather around Susie, encircling her in either familiarity or admiration for her impressively large size.  We call Susie ‘Queen of the Dachshunds.’

Whenever we’d find that Susie had escaped the backyard again, my husband and I walked the neighborhood yelling for her.  I’d have her leash in hand in case of capturing her once again while my poor husband drove all around, windows down while calling her name.  There is a nearby creek that probably attracted her.  Many nights, after I’d let her out back before bedtime, we’d find she’d escaped.  One foggy evening, I walked all around the neighborhood streets, calling for her, very angry spending my time this way and having to hold an umbrella so my glasses wouldn’t get wet.  By the time I had given up and was returning to the house, Susie was walking right beside me.  I didn’t realize it till we were close to home.  Damn dog.

Don’t get me started on her annual trips to the vet where more than one assistant has to be called in to hold Susie while her nails are clipped.  The vet took to muzzling her because she tries to bite anyone restraining her, wagging her tail merrily all the while.  Having gone through this ordeal for years, the vet scolded me, “Haven’t you taught her ‘NO’ yet!?”  Hell yes I tell her NO several times a day, but this dog don’t mind.  She minds her father better than me probably because of his size and deeper voice.

During those first months of house training, I got Susie to use pads in a specific area of the house.  But some evenings when we were watching a movie or working on the computer, Susie would pee intentionally near us, I suspect as a domineering act because she was looking straight at us while doing it.  We’ve learned to listen to her growls and beware of her jumping dominance as a sign she needs or wants to go outside.

And wouldn’t you know it?  Susie was determined to sleep on the bed with us, like any other person.  For the first two weeks with Susie, I tried training her to sleep in a kennel outside the bedroom.  Nothing doing.  She wouldn’t stop whining, barking, growling all night long.  I moved the kennel into the bedroom; then tried to train her to sleep on a pallet beside the bed; consented to allowing her to sleep on top of the bedspread but stay at the foot of the bed.  She wore me down from lack of rest and insisted on sleeping between us with her head close to our pillows.  Sometimes I’d awake in the morning to her snout facing me, brown eyes staring at me.  Wonder what she’s thinking?

Killer dog

Unlike my previous dogs—cocker spaniels that enjoyed playing with squeaky toys and could fetch balls—Susie always would gnaw the squeak out of any toy and commence to destroying each and every one.  She’d start by ripping off the tail, legs, arms, ears and any pointed appendages for some reason.  Susie’s a natural born killer.  That first year we had her, in the wee hours of the morning she constantly ran off the bed into the kitchen chasing what turned out to be a rat.  She was alert but not quick enough and would return to bed.  It took several months of interrupting our sleep, but Susie won: finally trapping the rat in the mud room between the kitchen and our bedroom.  The rat was terrified hiding behind the dryer.  Susie hovered and waited.  When the rat bolted, Susie snapped it up horizontally in her jaws, shaking it dead, leaving tiny blood splatters all over the place.  She grinned with pride and the taste of blood.

We called Susie our wolf hero and presented her a framed certificate for killing the house rat.  Susie would go on to kill again and again: squirrels, mice, roaches, grub worms, a black feral cat, a raccoon her own size … and unfortunately one of our own dogs.  Susie always thought tiny dogs were playthings; we realized this at the small dog park when she wanted to play too rough with tiny dogs that people held in their arms.  But one time at the creek, we took in an abandoned mini chiweenie with long red hair and green eyes, still with puppy breath.  We realized we’d have to keep the 5-pound pup separate from Susie for awhile.  Naming her Chelsea, we let her outside with our other dog Tommy to play and grow strong.  Susie would watch intently through the backdoor window, whimpering wanting to play with them.  After a couple of weeks, I allowed the three dogs to play together, carefully monitoring Susie to stop any roughness.

Eventually the little pup wanted to get stronger and play-fight with Susie.  The two ran wild in the backyard and played very rough and tough, toppling over each other, forcing the other down to submission while growling and play choking the victim which would quickly return onto legs and ready for another go.  Susie lost some weight with all the exercise.  They were inseparable for a few years until Susie grew old.  Chelsea was 5 and becoming more dominant, always attacking Susie by jumping off the bed to knock her down.  Susie didn’t want to play rough anymore.  Besides, Chelsea had sharp teeth and was prone to biting.  One night Chelsea got into a big knock-down drag-out fight with Susie.  The two would not stop fighting each other.  It was horrible and hard to stop.  Things changed between them.  A year later, the fight between them erupted unexpectedly late night in the backyard.  Susie won.  We were mortified, heartbroken, and very angry, not knowing what to think about Susie anymore.  A few days went by as she moped around like she’d lost her best friend, her Daddy.  I asked her softly, “Why, Susie?  Why’d you kill Chelsea?”  She opened her mouth like she was going to tell me then realized she can’t talk.  The vet said dogs are not like humans; the bloodlust is always there.

Stop cloning around

Susie celebrated her 15th birthday this month.  As always we sang “Happy Birthday,” presented her with a good meal of salmon and potatoes, gave her a pink frosted dog cookie, some duck meat chews, and ice cream for dogs.  She grabbed the container by her teeth and pranced into the backyard away from the other dogs with the same treat and holding the cup between her paws proceeded to spend the next five minutes licking the cold peanut butter contents under the Texas sun.

Despite her zeal during preparation of each and every meal, Susie has slowed down considerably.  I think her bones ache, so I started adding a supplement to her morning meal.  She’s only had one surgery, years ago to clean wounds and sew her up after a dog fight with a much larger and stronger German shepherd.  I doubt Susie sees or hears well though her sniffing sense seems intact.  She can be heard snoring throughout the house as she sleeps very soundly.  Her naps can last most of the day except for interruptions by our other two dogs.  Sometimes she has a mild stomach sickness I suspect from eating grass and other things in the backyard.  Often she looks at me confused.  She enjoys going in the backyard, lying on the grass right under the sun, which probably is healing and soothing to her.  She can’t walk on a leash as fast and as forcefully as she used to.  Halfway through a walk, she just stops and lies down.  Still her heart is good, and she’s been given a clean bill of health at her annual checkups.

We know Susie’s years with us are numbered.  As a longtime dog owner, I’ve made the heart-wrenching decision to put a beloved pet to sleep when they’re in ill health, in pain, and very old and frail.  However, in this brave new world in which we live, dogs are being cloned, at $100,000 a pooch, mostly for billionaires and major stars like Barbra Streisand.  For someone who has played strong female characters, one would think the superstar could handle life after the death of a beloved pet.

Would I clone Susie?  Nope.  One dachshund has been enough for me.  She is either a breed or a dog who wore me out with her stubborn streak and bullying ways.  Yet I love her dearly.  We’ve been through so much together.  She’s a much better dog now that she no longer needs or even tries to roam around the world.  On her 9th birthday, I created a card with graphics from her presumed past lives such as a bull, a walrus, a hog, a snake, a donkey, an ape, a bucking bronco.  I wrote “The many incarnations of Susie.  You go dog!”  And she has for six more years.

Pet parents must come to grips with the fact that we outlive our pets and must be able to deal with it.  It is their nature and our grief.  And doesn’t nature already reproduce more than enough dogs and cats to fill the grieving hearts of humanity?  So why is cloning dogs necessary?  The breeds are practically identical.  The most humane action pet lovers can take after the death of a beloved furry friend is to go get another one or even two.  Maybe this is the reason God made sure dogs and cats would be reproduced naturally in abundance.  They’re everywhere to be found.  Just waiting for love.

Requiem mass for the spiritually broken

Kyrie, eleison

Lord, have mercy

I’m not Catholic, and I don’t know a lot of Catholics.  But through the years, most of the ones I’ve gotten to know are actually former Catholics.  So bitter are their childhood memories of Catholic schooling; obligated mass attendance; memorized Hail Marys and many formal prayers; built-in guilt; confession; communion; signs of the cross; and catechism of memorized saints, rituals, holy days, feasts, mass settings, and biblical passages.  By the time my ‘former-Catholic’ friends were young adults, they were more than cynical about The Church.  But other young people who were raised in Protestant denominations get burned out on religion, too, and strike out on their own, simply choosing not to attend church all the time.  Early adulthood is a time of breaking away from required childhood routines, teachings and most importantly spiritual beliefs.

The Catholic Church being a big mystery to me, not unlike the Jewish faith, I never realized what all the silent anger was about among the few Catholics I knew and wanted to get to know better—why a deliberate non-mention that they had been raised Catholic.  When the subject came up, they would roll their eyes and grit their teeth.  Seemed like they didn’t want to talk about that part of their lives especially to me, a non Catholic.

All I’ve known about The Holy Roman Catholic Church is from high school World History.  It was the original Christian church; forming after the fall of the Roman Empire around 450 A.D.; and for 1,500 years dominated Western Europe in culture, dress, law, music, art, architecture, deeds, expectations, behavior and thought.  Teachers in the public schools made sure we understood how foolish The Church had been way back when in leading The Crusades, specifically mentioning the Children’s Crusade, and that in Europe the longstanding Catholic Church had become corrupt which ushered in the Renaissance and Reformation.  For decades hence, there would be many bloody battles and outright wars between Catholics and Protestants especially in determining which would rule England and other Christian countries.  When one Christian sect was in power, the other was severely persecuted.

Sanctus

Holy

I’ve found mature American Catholics to be open minded and liberal thinkers, recalling their fight for civil rights in the 1960s as well as joining protests to end the Vietnam War, serving in the Peace Corps and providing worldwide humanitarian relief through Catholic Charities.  An image that comes to mind is the smiling nun at the Woodstock music festival who flashes the peace sign.

Agnus Dei

Lamb of God

But then again … and again … and yet again … the public is informed of another massive scandal within large communities of the Catholic Church involving sex abuse of children and adolescents by dozens of priests.  Now I understand the … shame … of those who would rather refer to themselves as former Catholics, maybe determining themselves not religious at all.  The revelations are nothing new and to a jaded society may be not only secretly suspected but remain in the forefront of the minds of non Catholics.  What are we to think?  Sure there have been the famous TV evangelists and little-known preachers throughout the U.S. who’ve committed the same sin, the same crime.  But in sheer numbers, there is no comparison, and it’s because of an ancient institution.

The latest scandal involved six dioceses in Pennsylvania; 1,000 victims; 300 priests; and an institutionalized cover up since the 1940s.  These were rapes, sex crimes that should have been reported to police … but weren’t … for whatever reasons.  In 1997 a similar scandal by a “pedophile priest” occurred within the Dallas Catholic Diocese involving almost a dozen altar boys which went on for years.  The priest was sentenced to life in prison, and a $119 million jury award practically bankrupted the Diocese.  To prevent such crimes in the future, the jury mandated the Dallas Diocese report any rumor or suspicion of child sexual abuse by priests to law officials, never to hide the unholy again.

In 2015 the Oscar-winning movie “Spotlight” was about The Boston Globe’s investigation into a sex scandal within the Catholic Archdiocese of Boston.  Five priests were criminally prosecuted, not to mention a plethora of lawsuits.  The Catholic bishop kept the sex crimes secret and reassigned offending priests, as was done in Pennsylvania.  So … The Church knew all along.  The newspaper reported the scandal in 2002 and won the Pulitzer Prize.

In paradisum

Into paradise

Pope Francis is livid over the same scandal involving priests not only in America but Ireland and other countries around the world.  Obviously, to Catholics and non Catholics alike, something has to be done immediately.  One solution is not allowing a priest to ever be alone with a minor.  Some Catholics are calling for The Pope to reconsider permitting women to enter the priesthood and allowing priests to marry.  Why are these two reforms still controversial in the year 2018?

In the 16th century, Martin Luther posted dozens  of disagreements with The Church.  He also had an opinion on allowing priests to marry, writing that celibacy is not required in the Bible and that on the contrary God called humans to be fruitful and multiply.  Once the Protestant Reformation was under way, ministers were allowed to marry, and their wives were part of their ministries.  Luther also believed marriage would prevent temptation.  He also disagreed with priests as a necessary go-between for man and God.  Luther preached that everyone is called to minister to all people, which is biblical, spoken by Jesus Christ Himself.

Today’s Catholics, led by the popular and progressive Pope Francis, are allowed their own discretion on many intimate beliefs such as contraception.  What is surprising to non Catholics like me is why a billion people around the world remain dedicated to The Church.  Protestants, from the root word ‘protest,’ don’t understand and would simply switch to another church.  Given the cover ups, criminal sexual abuse against children, the perversion and hypocrisy—why do so many remain loyal to The Church?  Are they eternally dedicated though sorely ashamed and disgusted with atrocious sins and crimes by some priests involving the innocence of children?

Catholic or Protestant, we are taught to believe before we are taught to think.  The Catholic faith—with its beautiful stained-glass depictions, sky-high cathedrals, priests donning ornate robes and hats, processions, rituals, congregational prayers and songs, unified mass scripture readings and lectures—is essentially what religion should be: a sacred and profound bond of humans in mind and spirit.  There are millions on earth who still believe “To err is human, to forgive divine.”  But at what cost to our brothers and sisters, sons and daughters, all God’s children?