It’s not who you’re voting for; it’s how you’re voting

I voted early. (Did my part to get’er in Office.) Like I felt in 2016, I was proud to finally get to vote for a woman President. That hardly ever happens. We’ll see if more than 50 percent of American voters feel like I do.

And unlike 2016, I voted with one issue in mind: Abortion. Abortion. Abortion.

It should have NEVER been made illegal like it was long ago, two generations ago, before I was old enough to know it used to be against the law and females used hangars or trusted their most private body parts to anyone (usually men for some reason) who said they could end an unwanted pregnancy for a few bucks (and sometimes other favors). Not in the year 2023. Not with all the modern medical science we as a First World country live with and are guided by, trusting tough and crucial decisions based on our face-the-facts knowledge presented to us by doctors. Not when our neighbor Mexico and other long-time-coming progressive nations are finally seeing the light and going the way the U.S. did in 1973 by legalizing abortion.

Look, this election is going to be based on one issue: the economy. But hardly mentioned—as to not ruffle the feathers of the angry, loud, know-it-all, nosy, controlling, manipulative, judgmental, hypocritical and interfering anti-abortion crowd—is restoring pregnancy choice to women and girls, restoring THEIR privacy in this matter as Law of the Land. Instead, we have to deal with this ridiculous backwoods outcome of a piecemeal pattern that occurred among the states as soon as Roe was overturned by the current U.S. Supreme Court courtesy of Trump’s three appointees who lean against allowing half the U.S. population to determine their future.

A human right was taken away. But it only impacted women and girls.

And not all that many Americans, the ones who support abortion, especially when deemed medically necessary, are up in arms about it. But we should be.

We’re all sisters

Starting with a woman’s right to choose, now that that is removed or made close to impossible, that is and always has been an economic decision. And in America, let’s face it, more than half the women pregnant are unmarried and will end up taking care of the babies themselves. That does not mean the fathers aren’t paying child support. They are now that it is really uncool and illegal not to pay. But couples aren’t getting married or even living together just because they are expecting a baby. The bottom line that only women know is how children’s needs and health mostly involve the mothers who must take time off work and are not financially compensated by employers. Rich people know nothing about this economic problem. Middle class has a good idea about it but can manage with grandmothers and others helping out. But poor women, who do not earn a livable wage to begin with let alone enough money to provide for their children, can get caught up in a downward economic cycle.

Then there are the statistics about miscarriage, which by the way is the next level of control that those who call themselves pro-life advocates in office (every one of them men) are looking into. They want a list of every woman and girl who’s suffered a miscarriage. Why is that? What are they wanting to do: strap her to a public whipping post in the town square? The reason they want a list of females who’ve miscarried is because these men, who got themselves elected to public office, actually believe females are to blame for their miscarriages. What a bunch of morons. We’re talking about men here; OK, OK, just some men. And actually, that’s another point: Thank God, we’re talking about only a very few men—but they are damn powerful, too big for their britches. Hey: WE HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS THAN ABORTION AND MISCARRIAGE.

The statistics about miscarriage (a nonmedical term meant to be a comforting euphemism created by society because doctors still call a miscarriage an abortion—a pregnancy that’s been aborted by nature/God or physician) is 30 percent of all pregnancies. However, most miscarriages occur in the first weeks to three months of pregnancy when females may be unaware they’re pregnant. So the stats could be as high as 50 percent. Whether 30 or up to half of all pregnancies ending in miscarriage, it is a HUGE number. Only men—OK, a certain type of men (creeps)—would try to control females who’ve had a miscarriage. It’s as if men of this ilk really think women go out dancing and partying when they’ve miscarried. No, only women know this, but many are depressed to suicidal over having a miscarriage. Only an idiot would not sympathize with her. Send her a card, flowers, something instead of adding her name to a government list to be harassed and investigated.

Men have a lot to do with abortion

The most important reason I still support abortion on demand in THIS country is because … when it comes to molestation, it’s not one in four girls. It’s one in three. Those are our statistics here in America.

With all that molestation, there’s gotta be a lot of unintended pregnancies. And many states like Texas do not allow abortion for incest and rape.

Why is that?

Why does my state and others give men the right to impregnate girls [I know rape is illegal, but our society can’t stomach discussing this problem] and then force the girls to give birth?

Haven’t the victims of this common yet unspeakable traumatic crime suffered enough?

Why is it that men are calling the shots on this issue, a complex situation involving male power and little girl innocence, that male legislators can’t comprehend or imagine because they’re so—God, what’s the word for a sex who would do this to the other sex?

Ah, sexism is the reason. God gave Eve to Adam for one reason: and to this day, there are men who still believe women are good for only one thing and two if producing more human beings.

There is something twisted and, well, nasty about all this anti-abortion legalese. Male legislators are involved. Lawyers are involved. People who think they are followers of Jesus Christ are involved. Hell, everyone’s involved except for girls who’ve been sexually abused and women who may have the same story or as U.S. citizens have the right to think their bodies are their private domain. Even doctors don’t know what to do with a pregnant woman experiencing a life-or-death situation, which is not uncommon at all.

It is life.

And the fact, that apparently only women know, is: When it comes to life, no one’s in control, buddy.

Weight loss: Only in my dreams. Sigh.

When I see myself in my dreams, I am always lithe, the perfect size—not fat at all—for some deep twisted joke’s-on-me psychological reason. ’Cause when I awake and plant my feet on the ground every morning, I’m still the same overweight heavy person I’ve been most of my life, many decades now on the planet … with lotsa gravitational pull I’ve found on my aging body.

Like most Americans, it’s close to 75% of us at this point, we who are deemed obese, weighing way more than we ought, I pay attention every time a new miracle weight-loss formula comes along. This time it’s an injection originally for all those Americans with Diabetes II, the type of diabetes that we bring upon ourselves, the one we can prevent for the most part with some willpower and self-discipline. And lo and behold, this injection has shown to work. Everyone in Hollywood is on it. And now our friends and family, too. It’s as if we’ve been told we can eat what we want and take an injection to lose weight and prevent gaining weight.

Pardon me as I remain skeptical, even joking that we’ll learn in time this weight-loss drug makes your stomach fall out your rectum. Funny, huh? Well, it came to mind because of a weight-loss drug in the 1990s that made people’s hearts pump backwards or something. And then there have been so many weight-loss fads (eat only protein), pills (that dissolve fat), surgeries (binding your stomach to the size of a thumb). Why not wear a tight belt?

Meanwhile, I just continue trotting along with some sort of healthy diet and exercise. I’d say today for the most part, I eat better and with greatly reduced calories than I’ve ever eaten my whole life, after Noom reinforced my psyche (for two years; I’m a slow learner) to watch the calories and type of food and reasons for eating. Yes sir, on weekdays I awake at 4 a.m. and get with it at the gym. I’ll admit to skipping the past couple of months due to a severe foot sprain. And as usual when I am forced to go without exercise, I lost six pounds. Wha? Maybe that heavy boot I had to lug around, walking heavily and peculiarly like a suspicious disabled character in a David Lynch movie, gave me some fat-burning exercise.

Diet and exercise. Yeah, right

I have been a regular at local health clubs since I was 21, when I originally got into it during the Jane Fonda hopping craze and heard that women on birth control pills can gain weight. I did NOT want that to happen. I did real good: exercised hard and used weight machines only three times a week and cut calories like a good girl. No sweets. No cheating. Just a half cup of cereal with skim milk for breakfast. Half a sandwich and an apple for lunch with a Diet Coke. Only a tablespoon of vegetables like potatoes, corn and green beans for dinner. No dinner rolls. No butter. A candy bar only once a month. Man was I disciplined … way back then. And it was quite successful. Wish I weighed that 120 pounds today. Sigh.

Do you know when I did lose weight back then, not only did no one notice, but I still felt like the fattest person on earth? My legs, butt and abdomen were still big compared to my female peers and the ones on TV. The first place I lost weight was the bust. But why did I ‘feel’ fat? It’s because in those days, the doctor charts said someone my short stature should weigh 100 pounds. And then a nurse told the nation everyone should weigh 15 percent less than our ideal weight; we’d be healthier that way. So for little ol’ me, er, I mean short me, I should weigh 85 pounds? That was then, the 1980s.

This is now, a century later. Don’t think I haven’t noticed through the years those medical weight charts increased for some reason, allowing me to weigh up to 140 or so. One time I came in less than the chart, having worked very hard to eat only healthy food and exercise heavily after work at night. But … life … has been hard, harder some years than others. All right, it’s been nothing but hard year after year, decade after decade. Sigh.

Epiphany: The weight is emotional! Maybe that’s why I’m lithe in my dreams!

In recent years, I’ve also noticed my various doctors don’t even tell me to lose weight anymore. Never mention it. That’s all I heard them say when I was a chubby kid, self-conscious teen-ager and young to middle-aged woman. Maybe now as a senior citizen, they’ve given up on me. I’ve survived this long with all this weight. I’m still alive and relatively healthy (compared to others my age). I know the score for my generation. I still exercise, and docs tell me hardly anyone exercises.

But feeling as I do about still being overweight, that I need help of some sort, I’ve approached my doctors about weight-loss drugs. (Psst. I believe they’re called amphetamines.) Nothing doing! My docs are not going to allow me to take prescription weight-loss drugs. WTH? One doc told me flatly: Losing weight is VERY HARD, practically impossible. (I knew it!) The trick, see, is to NEVER GAIN THE WEIGHT TO BEGIN WITH. Damn. Damn it all to  hell.

The weight-loss shot originally for diabetics (that is supposed to help their pancreas do what it can no longer do due to diabetes) is so desired right now by everybody that the FDA is having to ensure its availability. Americans are the only people on earth who want what we want when we want it.

And let’s face it, that’s the reason we’re so fat to begin with.

Twenty years of living in & loving my old house

Nacogdoches is where I learned to appreciate old houses, really old houses from 19th century Victorian to Queen Anne: large covered porches furnished for sitting outside rain or shine, a foyer with a second entry door so the interior of the house stays warm during cold weather, squeaky wood floors and fireplaces with grand or rustic mantels, large rooms with tall ceilings, steep stairs and dark corners, cedar chests and antiques used by modern families in the 1980s. Fresh from a childhood within a suburban concrete jungle and urban sprawl, from the 1970s when as a know-nothing kid I assumed ‘new and improved’ and ‘bigger is better,’ I grew into a young adult who learned to respect old things like antiques and old houses. Always wanted a Tudor design with rounded doors or a cozy cottage—most significantly: built before World War II. The quality is visible with every detail such as molding and craftsmanship. All I knew before venturing into the Piney Woods was cramped cookie-cutter houses, laid out almost bureaucratically in dozens of rows as far as the eye could see. They were built practically overnight when the men came home from the war (and started making the Baby Boomers).

In 2003 I started looking for my first house, my own piece of Texas. It took a year, but I finally decided on a prairie-style brick home, pier-and-beam, with front porch pillars, built in 1946. Close enough. Wood floors throughout and the original windows, with ropes, that can hardly open without a few knocks on the frame. It was modernized with central heat and AC, utility ‘mud room,’ converted two-car garage to spacious carpeted bedroom with bath, and a new amp box with more than sufficient power as we use a lot more electricity than families in mid-20th century.

A very, very, very old house

When my husband and I first moved from apartment life into our first house, we stayed in the back bedroom, the one that had been the two-car garage in the ’50s. I think it was because the cable wasn’t connected in the living room for a couple of weeks. But the truth is we didn’t know how to spread out and LIVE in our very own house. Soon he started gardening, planting all sorts of flowers and vegetables and grape vines, and laying down grass to grow in the backyard. The front yard was already covered in clover with two huge oak trees! I love it.

The first thing I did once officially moved into the house, with a good-size wood-fenced backyard, was visit the animal shelter for a dog. I brought home the smallest they had, a 19-pound black and tan dachshund mix named Susie. She was one year old and big for a dachshund. I thought a dog and an alarm system would ensure security. Our former apartment was broken into a year prior, and all the important things were stolen.

When I move into a new place, I stay up late at night and play some of my favorite music while decorating my new home. Here I strategically placed above the fireplace a Picasso print, The Three Musicians. It goes well there, the Harlequin’s outfit in the painting matches perfectly the tile décor around the fireplace.

When my parents drove down for Thanksgiving in our new home in 2004, I rushed to Walmart to buy whatever curtains would go with the house, choosing an off-white plain curtain underneath a sheer tan material decorated with leaves and vines. An aunt who traveled with my parents complained my old house was too drafty. I gave her a blanket to wrap around her shoulders and tried to move her away from the window. I’ve learned to live quite comfortably in my old house. The AC and heating system work fine. Just wear more clothes in the winter and less in the summer.

That first year, whenever it rained, we had to place lots of big buckets and cook pots in the fireplace and other areas wherever a new roof leak occurred. Spent years getting roofers to patch the roof. Got the chimney sealed too to prevent water from pouring into the fireplace.

When our house turned 60 in 2006, we threw a big party. I played music from each decade: starting with the Big Bands then country swing, early rock n roll, Texas garage bands from the ’60s, then disco and the latest pop and country. A long-time elderly neighbor from across the street stopped by to see what was going on in our house. She was 90 and when she saw it was a party for the house, she returned with a big pot of home-made beans she’d been cooking all day. When she passed away a few years later, I picked up her American flag from the estate sale. We installed it on the front porch for patriotic celebrations even though it was tattered.

During those early years of home ownership, I shopped for items needed like floor lamps, shelves and a leather chair and sofa. I was keen on furniture that fit the age of the house. My parents, who also appreciate old houses, gave me a couple of antiques that fit this house perfectly: a cherry wood buffet and a blond wood vanity. Both feature a curved mirror.

I’ve hung pictures from our various world travels, presenting them in the dining area—which we never really used unless for company. A good twenty years of apartment life runs deep; we never did stop sitting in front of the living room TV while eating our food on separate standing trays.

Old house, take a look at my life

As homeowners we were responsible for all maintenance and repairs. That first night in our new house, we had to call an electrician because the power suddenly went out. He crawled underneath the house and fixed something that got disconnected. A couple years later, I had the house thoroughly inspected and was told it was in pretty good shape for a house built in 1946. The home inspector enjoyed going through this old house. He understood why it was built the way it was. The history of the house is a physician had it built and lived here for decades until death. Then his daughter kept the house for rental property. In the early 2000s, a renovator bought it then flipped it to us. I loved the textured olive walls of the living and dining areas. 

One time the AC didn’t work. The repairman reported one of our dogs, Tommy, chewed through an important wire probably thinking it was a grass snake which he liked to catch in the backyard. Another time, a neighbor on a walk just happened to notice a constant water stream from the grassy median in front of our house. We called the city, thinking it was their problem to fix. We were wrong. The water bill was more than $1,000. We had to replace the front water line, with insurance paying a share, and I had to send the bill to the city to show we paid to repair/replace our water line before the bill would be reduced.

A few years later in the dead of winter, we had to replace the original sewer line. The clay pipe was stamped 1946. The front yard had to be dug out to install the modern pipe that supposedly will not crack or break from tree roots, the source of our problem. Well, what’cha gonna do? We’re not chopping down the oak trees. That would be a sin.

There was another winter we spent with racoons in the attic. We heard a racket every night at dusk, like a big party was going on right above our heads. I heard something above the bedroom ceiling and small footsteps walking across. We opened the attic, turned on the light, and were met with several pairs of eyes, two were babies. We couldn’t do anything about it. We called an animal removal business, and they came out and placed some humane cages with marshmallows because racoons love marshmallows. That night, we heard the family entering again and then the cage closed. We caught one. We called the service to remove it, but no one would venture out because it was February and all the roads were iced. It stayed that way for several days. Susie the dog went berserk, knowing a racoon was just a few feet above her in the living room. She took to climbing the walls with pained howling. We had to move a bookcase to keep her off the walls. We kept her out of the living room, too. Finally the captured racoon was removed, looking sad its party in our attic had come to an end. We were advised to keep the tree limbs trimmed and the house plugged up so that sort of thing won’t happen again.

A day before moving into this house, when I knew it belonged to me, I took some sage and set it afire till it smoked. Then I walked through every room and blessed it, all who enter and live here. Through the years with all the strange and unexpected things that have occurred in and around my house, I’ve slept well at night. My husband recuperated from cancer here as well as from other illnesses and surgeries. We both recuperated from Covid here. We’ve watched the children of our neighbors grow into adults. We bonded together during the pandemic and when our dogs grew to old age and needed a lot of assistance such as an IV drip for renal failure. One cold night close to Christmas, all us neighbors stood on my big front porch and somberly watched a house across the street burn while firefighters worked to put it out. Our fire station is only a minute or two away. Every year we were big supporters of Halloween and enjoyed handing out candy to all the little creatures who dared ring our doorbell. We were sad when another longtime neighbor, a recent widow and good friend, decided to sell her modest house across the street and move away from Dallas. Her home was worth an amount she never could have imagined when purchased three decades ago.

I have fought the tax appraisal board only once, and we agreed on a reduction. Property taxes remain a shocking surprise every year. I suppose the inspectors notice improvements like a new roof, storage shed, paint job, wood fence, AC unit, not to mention the new water and sewer lines buried beneath the yard and 21st century water heater. I don’t know what they base the appraisal and tax figure on, but I’ve been told it’s not about the house or its condition but more about the property lot, one with two huge oak trees. I figure after selling this old house—where I installed an original iron Texas heritage marker at the front door—it may be razed and a similar yet modern house built in its place. I understand. Everything changes, and we live through many evolutions. So many improvements and necessities as we proceed in this century, an old home may not suffice. Still, living in my old house (granted, easier in summer than winter) has enriched my life as I knew it would. It’s been an honor calling this place my home for the past twenty years.