It’s not a retrospective I’m inclined to write at this point: recalling memories of high school and my generation, when the ’70s met the ’80s. But my gosh, it’s been 40 years now! Each decade I’ve attended our class reunions, dancing to “Hey 19,” “Don’t Stand So Close to Me,” “Celebration,” “Hungry Heart” and “Whip It.” At our first reunion in 1991, about 200 of us showed up (from a graduating class at 600). The gang looked pretty good, still managing to keep it together physically, most with promising career paths, new marriages, a few expectant mothers, others with photos of their young families.
Our 20-year reunion came one month after 9/11. We had to talk all about it especially with classmates in the airline industry or the military. Many classmates were deeply embedded with family life and solid careers as well as living in nice homes located a few towns (or states) away from our former stomping ground in the metroplex. The 30-year reunion brought even fewer of us together. That one I had intended to skip … because I’d just been laid off. Me, the career gal. I didn’t feel like celebrating with old high school classmates, undoubtedly more successful than I. But a classmate since childhood shamed me into not going just because I’d lost my job. Snap out of it. Quit feeling sorry for myself. I entered the outdoor event feeling like such a loser. The first thing people at these things wanna know is whacha been doin’ and where you at now plus how marriage and kids are working out.
By that stage some classmates were grandparents, some widowed or divorced and remarried, and a few were starting to reap the gold standard of retirement after 30 years, no doubt hired right outta high school. That would not be nor will it be my story. After a while, however, I found the old high school chummery uplifting. I spent a few hours catching up with old classmates (we were looking middle aged save a few remarkable standouts, the most popular girls in high school).
(Just Like) Starting Over
By night’s end, I was glad I’d gone to the class reunion. Spending time with my generation—with people who knew me and expressed nothing but encouragement plus never doubted I’d get a new job immediately—restored belief in myself. For the first time in a long time, I was overwhelmed with that youthful optimism when we all graduate high school. Plus, I had gained the maturity of knowing deep down everything was gonna be all right. Suddenly I was looking forward to a new chapter, feeling like I did when going off to college. The unknown future was exciting.
Planning a 40th high school reunion was debatable due to the pandemic a year ago when no vaccine was available. But by now the Class of ’81 will reunite in person later this fall. For me so much has changed since the last reunion ten years ago. I got my first iPhone. A couple months after the 30th reunion, I enrolled in grad school, studied liberal arts, traveled the world, and after graduating felt inclined to start this blog and an educational nonprofit. Like the song says, “We have grown. We have grown.”
And as a much older grown up, by now I can cast perspective on life since high school. Lotsa stuff learned from 18 to 58. Life-altering experiences have taken me in directions I would have never thought or cared about way back then … but now looking back, the journey seems so right. There is a theme to everyone’s life and a purpose for each of us. Life is for learning. That is my philosophy. We each learn a set of lessons, not necessarily the same but often shareable anecdotes:
What I’ve learned since high school
Honesty is the best policy. I don’t know my motivation way back then, but as a kid I could spin some tall tales. Maybe it comes from creative writing, vivid dreams, a wild imagination or walking around with my head in the clouds. The good thing for me is I learned to keep my big fat mouth shut in college, like on day one.
College was the right thing to do. It’s not right for everyone. But if the kind of occupation you want to do requires a degree, gotta go for it. Don’t be deterred by debt. We are supposed to be pursuing our passions in life. If college is a dream, pursue it someway somehow, anyway anyhow even now.
Self confidence goes a long way. People will believe in you if you believe in yourself. No one will believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself.
Unemployment happens. Ha! Does it ever and always at the worst time(s). It’s not easy. It’s humiliating, depressing, physically suffocating. With everything within us, we’ve got to stay positive. Those stretches of unemployment are like life’s biggest hardest tests. My advice is always search for a new job, made easier now online. The last time I was unemployed, I ended up applying for 1,000 jobs. Leave no stone unturned; apply for all jobs anywhere. This isn’t the only place to live either. Life is a journey. Go where the work leads.
Debt free is overrated. Yeah, I’ve achieved it a couple of times in my life. It was a great feeling. Then … life happens. And keeps happening. Life is expensive, more so now than earlier in our lives. Life costs money. And that’s the way it is.
Body pain. Only more aches and pains, no less as we age. My advice: a good chiropractor. And arnica gel!
Work till I die. I’m OK with it. Retirement (and I was inadvertently retired for a year or so) didn’t work out for me at all. Perhaps I’m too young. Tee!
Call a spade a spade. Or as my generation used to say, “Get real.” We see and hear all kinds of bu(**&^ online. We are at the ripe old age to know what’s good and bad, so let our voices be heard. We’ve more than earned the right. Just make sure our facts are straight.
Pursue our passions. This is the secret of happiness and feeling our lives are worthwhile.
Spirituality is an evolution. As it should be.
Travel. I never thought I’d get the chance to travel around the world. But the opportunity came at age 50. Plan some travels. Explore our world, not just our country.
Choose our words carefully. When we were young, we would shoot off our mouths and not care who was offended. With the internet, social media and instant messaging, we need to be certain of what we send and how and where we say it.
Choose to be kind. Like we said in the ’80s: “Karma’s a bitch.”
Be generous. No better feeling than putting money to good use, helping others, tipping at least 20 percent. Makes you a better person.
Open mind. You know what opened my mind? Moving away from my hometown and living for years in several small towns and different places in one big city.
Embrace change. This is how we deal with loss in life. Life doesn’t stay the same. Upon graduating high school, we were ready to embrace the unknown. We wanted to experience all life had to offer. We found life offers diverse experiences so that we will know joy and sadness—and in turn become kinder to others.
Tech savvy. Tech’s not going away. We gotta get with the program, learn the latest hobbies, sports, music, movies. It can be very frustrating to many of our generation and older. We can always say we’re learning.
Stay active/Eat right. We only grow older, or we don’t grow at all. We know how to take care of ourselves much better than we did at 18.
Believe in the future of mankind. The world is not going to hell in a hand basket. We’ve lived through lots of bad times Why would anyone think ‘the end is near’ now?
Patience. It’s a virtue.
Time. It’s a blessing.