Blank slate

She awoke.  Birds chirped joyously outside the hospital window.  She cleared her throat, dry after surgery, blinked to focus on white walls with pleasant art.  Her doctor was right.  She felt peaceful, content and happy after the memory implant was adjusted.  Celeste was overwhelmed with feelings of happiness.  She was in awe.  Her eyes welled with tears.  She found herself smiling.

“You ready to go home?” she heard her husband ask, feeling his hand cup hers.  “Home?” she asked.

“Remember?  Our house in the woods.  We call it Glendale,” Marc said, trying to coax her memory.

Yes, she remembered home.  She recalled her work as an American history teacher and research into race relations.  But then …  Nothing.

“I need to get home and continue my research,” she said as Marc waved a hand to cut her off.  “No, there will be none of that for a while.  That’s what ignited the implant.

“Remember?  The chip prevents certain recall,” he warned.  “Shhhh,” he lipped with a kiss on her head.

“What’s wrong with me?” Celeste asked.  “Why was I in the hospital?”

“The chip was malfunctioning,” Marc said.  “Made you have bad headaches.

“You don’t remember blacking out, all the nausea and severe pain?  Right here,” he said touching her forehead.

She then felt serene.  She was aware of her feelings.  In a few weeks after summer break, she would be ready to return to teaching.  Research into American history would have to wait.  It wasn’t worth the suffering and the day surgery to correct her memory implant.

They drove across the bridge into a bucolic landscape that greets arrivals to Glendale.  Celeste gazed into the vista, inhaling fresh earth, feeling the breeze of an unusually cool summer day, listening to birds and the dogs happy to greet them, searching the familiar terrain of blue sky and hills on the horizon.  Her senses were restored fully.  Vividly.  She would always want to remember this.

Bettie and Luna, rescue dogs of unknown lineage, jumped on her before she could get out of the SUV.  “Now get down,” Marc ordered the pets.  “It’s all right,” Celeste said, hugging each one.  “They love me.  Dogs always forgive and forget.”

Inside the house, Celeste walked to the study.  Papers and books were strewn across the rug.  The desk chair was toppled to the ground.  She straightened up the mess.  “What happened?” she asked Marc.  “I found you unconscious and called 9-1-1.  The paramedics took you to the hospital.  Knew just what to do, what was wrong.”

The memory implant was a high-tech solution to end human hatred that once had gripped the nation into war-like dissent.  Celeste understood that much.  But as she pursued research of American history and racism, reading and watching news accounts about social upheaval during the twentieth and twenty-first centuries, her mind was interrupted, short circuited.  It was the chip.  She could not force herself to study to memory the angry divisive era:

Statues toppled as racist relics, originally erected by the Daughters of the Confederacy to honor Southern war heroes in the American Civil War.  Police officers roughly apprehending African Americans, a few of the arrested even dying during the process.  Months of fiery protests against police brutality.  The names of deceased black people, most unarmed and more than one in their own home or on their property, chanted, printed on T-shirts and signs.  Graffiti.  The f word.  The looting from city to city.  Police cars ablaze.  Police and rioters assaulting each other.  The president nowhere to be seen, only heard, his monotone blaming states and cities where riots were bad and dozens of businesses destroyed.  He called on the military to take control, but military leaders refused, citing the Constitution does not allow them to fight their own people on their own land. 

Such violent protests would never occur again.  The chip was a brilliant solution. The ultimate.

If Celeste continued with the research, her memory chip would malfunction again.  Citizens have the chip in order to remove animosity, bigotry and hatred toward others.  This was proven long ago by anthropologists and brain science.  The chips embedded in the brain brought about a longstanding era of peace and tranquility along with productivity surpassing all previous economic times.  The chips simply made everyone live happily ever after. But a history teacher needs to study the past, and people need to know.

The headache came on strong.  She held onto the desk and saw a bouquet of flowers Marc had waiting for her.  She smiled and for a few lingering seconds inhaled every bloom, each with a unique fragrance, together a fresh heavenly scent that filled the room.

************************************************************ 

Celeste and Marc ate protein bars and fruit in the breakfast nook.  Through open windows they watched backyard foliage and critters roam along with their playful dogs.  “Let’s go outside,” she said cheerily.  “No, it’s a little too cool.  I think you should stay indoors another day just to be on the safe side,” Marc advised.

“I know,” she thought aloud.  “Let’s invite the Clarks and Molinas to our house for a cook- out.”

“If that’s what you’d like, I’ll arrange it,” Marc said then sent texts to the two couples.  “How about tonight or tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow’s fine.  Gives them a little time.  None of us are working this summer session,” Celeste said.

Marc kissed her goodbye, reminding her to take it easy and put away the research project.  She smiled obediently, sipping a cup of coffee.  After he’d left, she watched the two dogs, how they got along but sometime fought each other for a fresh nut or grub worm uncovered in the yard.  The fight broke out, sometimes lasting a minute, usually just a couple of seconds.  No harm done.  They learned to get along.  Celeste wondered why humans needed the memory implant.  Then her mind wondered to more pleasant thoughts.  She had a menu to plan for the barbecue.

******************************************

She found herself in the office again, not sure how she arrived.  Did she go shopping?  Yes.  Where’s the food?  In the fridge.  Did she black out?  Her head throbbed.  This time inhaling flowers didn’t soothe the pain.  Her internet device was set to a city protest in the summer of 2020.  Signs read “Abolish the police,” “End racism,” “Defund the police,” “Black Lives Matter.”  She had typed comments from the protesters expressing the reason for their anger.  She reread the research she had prepared …

“Honey!  Wake up,” Marc told her, holding his wife on the floor, patting her face.

“Why’d you start researching again?  You knew this could happen,” he scolded.

“My head hurts so bad!  I’m bleeding!” Celeste said, realizing the blood came from her nose and ears.  “What’s happening to me?”

Marc lifted her body and rushed to the doctor.

**************************************

The light was bright in her eyes.  “What’s going on?” Celeste asked Dr. Dory.  He clicked a small light on and off in her pupils.  “Dr. Landon, dear, I wish you would understand the purpose of the chip is to prevent unpleasant memories,” he told her.

 She knew.  No one is to read or watch or listen to any work about racism in this country.

“They’re not memories,” Celeste told him, “not my memories or none of ours.  What I’ve been studying are facts, history.  Our nation’s history.  It’s important to know.”

“Why would you want to stir up past controversies that tore our nation apart?” he asked.  “The implant took away all that pain, ill will and bad feelings we humans possess deep within our reptilian brain and even to the frontal lobe.

“We cannot help but be prejudiced and bigoted against people who do not look like us.  This nation tried for close to 300 years.  All that was proven was everyone is prejudiced.  And because of that, we cannot be fair, just and kind.  It would take thousands of years for every human to rise above our inclinations when it comes to racism.”

“No, I don’t think that is true,” Celeste countered.

“What you think does not matter,” the doctor replied.  “The chip solved a host of social problems, deadly and abusive encounters that occurred every single day in this country.  Crime was reduced by 95 percent thanks to the chip.  Now you must stop researching racism.  There is no need to dig into a healed wound, miraculously healed by the memory chip.”

Celeste inhaled deeply and stood up, wobbly but determined to say her piece.  The doctor warned her chip was still unconnected.

“Listen to me,” she said.  “People who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.  Remember?  First certain books were banned as racist, then movies, music, then free speech and eventually free thought.  We are living in a society of … morons.”

She slapped her hand over her mouth, realizing the fear of her words.  The doctor grabbed her arm for an injection.  “Please,” she cried then begged, “people need to know the truth, our truth, our past.  Life is about righting the wrongs of the past.  First, we have to know those wrongs and feel for everyone.  We have to understand those who lived before us.”

****************************************************

The cell was dark and cold.  Celeste hugged her body as her teeth chattered.  “Where am I?” she called out.

“Be quiet,” a woman nearby whispered.

“Are we in jail?”

“Detention.  Until our chips work right.”

“Why are you here?”   

“I was researching my family tree to find plantations where they worked in the 1800s.”

“You’re African American?”

“Sure.  You’re white?”

“Yes, does that matter to you?”

“No.  Does my race matter to you?”

“Of course not.  We’ve got to get out of here while our minds are free and clear.”

A small paper note glided on the floor of Celeste’s cell.  She read the plan by her neighbor, Lauren.  A hole was already prepared beneath their adjoining wall.  Celeste lifted a floor tile.  The hole was small and dark.  “I’m going now.”

“I’m way ahead of you,” Lauren whispered.

The women scurried through the underground sewer toward the light of a full moon.  They crawled out into a creek bed, wiped off their jumpsuits and smiled, running quietly into the woods.

“Where should we go?” Lauren asked.

Feeling pain free from a restored soul, Celeste replied, “I don’t know.”

Police under the gun for cell cam video of arrests gone deadly

Watching the initial protests over the death of George Floyd by police, a revolting real-life scene brought to us by smart phone videos, I turned to social media and wrote an adage about myself: Still back the Blue.  That’s because there are a half million police officers in America, and their jobs are not easy even for the well trained.  And I wrote Still Back the Blue because just a few years ago, lest we forget, Dallas police officers were gunned down by a sniper during a Black Lives Matter rally, a national shock that brought President Barack Obama to the city to eulogize the slain officers at the nationally televised funeral.

When I was a news reporter, the cop shop featured somber yet approachable police chiefs and sheriffs and was a routine beat for stories on crime, criminal activity and the occasional homicide investigation.  Then with a career change to public school teacher, I found again myself befriending the police, a visible presence on practically every campus.  Reporters, teachers and police work with the same folks.  This is a statement not meant to be insulting.  Crime occurs a lot in poor neighborhoods where nonwhite disenfranchised families are perpetual victims.  A professional, therefore, working within poor communities must convey a disposition of kindness, compassion with a calm level head.

That is not the professionalism captured by cell cam video of a policeman holding his knee over the neck of Mr. Floyd, who police apprehended for allegedly trying to pass a fake bill at a Minneapolis convenience store.  Upon seeing the viral video, our nation held its collective breath along with Mr. Floyd as the scene lasted more than eight minutes, and the handcuffed suspect on his belly told law officers he could not breathe.  Autopsies report Mr. Floyd died not from a cracked windpipe—which emotionally is what we saw—but from a heart attack and/or asphyxiation brought on by pressure applied to his neck.  But no one can wipe away the imagery witnessed via cell cam: a white officer holding his knee on a black man, already under arrest and handcuffed, until he died.  We also saw three other policemen standing at the scene and doing nothing to stop the unjustified deadly arrest.  The live video did capture nearby citizens warning officers that Mr. Floyd can’t breathe.  Then it appears he died right before our eyes.

The past two weeks of angry protests in U.S. cities and around the world against deadly police brutality specifically involving African Americans (and even the recent unjustified shooting death by former and wannabe cops) have drawn together tens of millions of people.  Protest signs read “Stop Police Brutality.”  Agree.  “Stop racism.”  Agree.  “Abolish the Police.”  Can’t agree with that.  And “Defund the Police.”  Wha?  Protesters are up in arms over not one, not two, not three, not four, not five … but in the past few years too-many-to-count deadly police apprehensions of and encounters with unarmed African Americans—some caught on phone cameras by citizens.

What’s going on?

Anyone can research statistics on police use of deadly force.  They are kept by the FBI and more recently by The Washington Post.  The Post’s report is called Fatal Force and shows that 1,028 people were shot and killed by police in 2019.  About the same number of people have been killed by police in the U.S. every year since 2015 when the Post started collecting data.  Almost half of police shootings were of white people, a fifth were Hispanic, and a third (30 percent) were blacks.

However, the report finds blacks are shot and killed disproportionately than whites considering racial demographics (more whites than blacks, still a minority in most cities and in our nation’s total population).  Since 2015, the total number of whites killed by police was 2,416 (population 197 million) while 1,265 blacks (population 42 million) were killed.  The report also noted 889 Hispanics and 797 other/unknown race/ethnicity were killed in police shootings.  About 20 percent of those shot by police had serious mental illnesses.  Most alarming, police body cameras were not worn or were unavailable on most of the shootings, according to Fatal Force.

Of those shot and killed by police, 321 were unarmed.  More than 3,000 of the deceased had a gun.  Some had toy guns: 180.  Most killed by police were men (5,130) and 235 women.  The statistic is low for those shot while fleeing the police, but 3,375 were not fleeing officers.  This may point to another problem for the police.

Last year was the deadliest for police shootings since statistics were recorded by the newspaper.  Still, each year marked close to 1,000 police shooting deaths.  So far in 2020, the figure is 429.

Standing trial

On the flip side, police killed in the line of duty in 2019 was 89: half by criminals during a crime.  In 2018, the figure was 144.  In one year, 64 officers were shot and killed and an additional 21 were killed by ambush.  The statistics for police killed in the line of duty are: 164 in 2015; 171 in 2016; 152 in 2017; and 150 in 2018.  

Police arrest ten million people a year.  Does that cast perspective on what’s going on?  In dealing with crime, police are not encountering the most upstanding citizens.  Let us not forget that the police deal with criminals.  They expect to deal with people who break the law.

But ten million arrests, and less than one percent deaths, should show that 99 percent of police do their jobs well instead of the opposite.  They protect and serve the good citizens and try to catch the bad guy.  We pay them to do this because otherwise each of us would be left with taking the time to stalk and investigate someone who may or may not have caused a crime against us.  Every one of us cannot play cops with no training and assume we’ll remain calm when we want to impose our own justice and shoot to kill.

There are close to 687,000 law officers, and the figure is down quite a bit from just a few years ago.  The racial makeup of our nation’s police force is 77 percent white and 13 percent black.  By city, the figures, from 2013, were:

Los Angeles: white 35 percent, black 11 percent, Hispanic 43 percent

Dallas: white 54 percent, black 25 percent, Hispanic 18 percent

Houston: white 45 percent, black 23 percent, Hispanic 25 percent

New York: white 52 percent, black 16 percent, Hispanic 26 percent

New Orleans: white 38 percent, black 58 percent, Hispanic 2 percent

Chicago: white 52 percent, black 25 percent, Hispanic 19 percent

Baltimore: white 50 percent, black 40 percent, Hispanic 7 percent

Philadelphia: white 57 percent, black 33 percent, Hispanic 8 percent

Minneapolis: white 80 percent, black 9 percent, Hispanic 4 percent.

Police racial demographics often do not represent community makeup.  Usually the number of white officers is more than the demographic while black and Hispanic officers come short of matching the real community racial and ethnic demographics.  And all of that should not matter.  By now every American should be able to deal with people as individuals and not with racial, ethnic and socioeconomic prejudices and bigotry.  That is practically rule number one and has been in this country for decades.  That is our community and nation’s expectation.  Yet again another unarmed black man is shot or killed by a police officer who is usually white.  Americans want those incidents—whatever the reason—stopped NOW, and they are no longer willing to sit idly by when practically every day another citizen cell cam shoots a police encounter that in the public’s eye should never have ended in death.

Thought we’d come a long way, baby, until I learned the ERA still hasn’t passed

The ERA is still not law of the land.  Let me rephrase that: The Equal Rights Amendment has never been passed into law.  Can anyone believe this in the year 2020, the 21st century, our most equalizing and open-minded time to date in American history, this era of modern reasonable women-can-work-any-job (except U.S. President)?  I’m … I’m … speechless.

Nevertheless.  Perhaps given our post-feminist society—where men can stay home and raise the kids, where same sex couples can marry and adopt children, where the wife may earn more than her husband and no one cares, where women can apply for any job and run businesses and corporations—we’ve all just settled down and assumed women had the same rights as men under U.S. law.  Isn’t sex discrimination illegal?  The Equal Rights Amendment, which dates back in similar proposed legislation to the 1920s, would ensure women shall have equal rights anywhere in the U.S.  Well, as the ERA’s most famous opponent Phyllis Shlafly would say, doesn’t the business world already provide this by now?  Everyone supports equal rights for women.  So why has the ERA been so damn hard to pass into law?  Ladies, follow the men.

And by men, I mean our worldwide male-dominated cultures and societies since the beginning of time, our man-centered religions and education, our ancient family structures that dictate men are providers and women bear the children while cooking and cleaning simultaneously.  With the realization that the ERA has remained in limbo for decades, we can clearly see this old worn-out sexist stereotype still exists among our equally old and worn-out congressmen and Mr. Man senators.  Maybe since 2018 with the largest number of women to date voted into U.S. Congress, the ERA soon will be the law it should have been (and many Americans thought it already was especially by now).

The ERA mystique

Somewhere between the saying credited to our nation’s sexiest feminist, Gloria Steinem, the one that goes “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle,” and the equally deadpan depiction of marriage credited to the feminist movement’s founder Betty Friedan, that for women marriage is at best a “comfortable concentration camp,” lies the mystical entwinement of the sexes.  Men used to be oblivious to women feeling any other way than happy and content being married and having children and raising them and tutoring them and driving them to their activities and cooking and cleaning and grocery shopping and sewing and running household errands and managing the home and yards.  Whose life wouldn’t be fulfilled?     

In 1972, I proclaimed myself a women’s libber.  I was 10 years old and told everyone I knew.  Mom didn’t mind, probably cheered me on.  In my neighborhood, my mother was the only woman who worked.  She was a teacher.  She also grew up with nine brothers.  Shoot, Carol Burnett performed skits as a loud-mouthed bossy women’s libber on her comedy show every Saturday night.  Loretta Lynn sang The Pill, and I understood the sentiment: Women don’t want to be pregnant all their lives.  Cher and Streisand and every woman in show biz proclaimed they, too, were women’s libbers on the Mike Douglas and Merv Griffin shows every weekday afternoon.  Then there was TV’s Maude which Mom and I watched every Monday night.  A women’s libber was the thing to be.  We weren’t about to return to the old days of staying home with the children, not going to college, not having a career, not earning our own money, not feeling free.

Then something really strange happened in my family.  We started going to church.  Not just any church but a fundamentalist one.  To a young women’s libber, a gal who had drive and ambition and wasn’t gonna let a man hold me back, the cultural whiplash was mind blowing.  The church taught that women are to help and serve their husbands; their place in the home is to be a supportive silent adoring companion; they do, too, want to have children; they shouldn’t work or have a career if it interferes with the home and family.  And the church used a lot of Bible to prove this way of life, of coupling, of family, of God’s intention. 

But, I was a women’s libber.  I had all these goals and plans.  Getting married and having babies was not my priority at least until my late 20s or 30s.  In sermons, the women’s lib movement would come up as a deal with the devil to break up the family home.  What’s right is women should be married and should be mothers.  This was the 1970s, and divorce was becoming very common.  Were divorced women going against God if they worked, had to work, and maintain an apartment while raising their kid or kids?  They usually had custody.  The church had life figured out.  Women in that predicament should pray for a husband.  It was the only way she would be truly happy.

The church also taught that the National Organization for Women was anti-God and run by a bunch of lesbians.  (Like that even mattered.)  Feminists have no place in God’s church.  Wow wee.  This was gonna be a personal problem for little ol’ me, Ms. Independent.     

Needless to say, the church supported Ronald Reagan in the 1980 election, initiating the Reagan Revolution to return to a 1950s’ America of which I only knew from black-and-white TV reruns.  As a young adult woman, I split and went to a secular college where the female professors were indeed feminists, and the older sisters enlightened us young women and men about how far back and how deeply entrenched the male hierarchy reached, even brainwashing females into living lives that were not their own.   That was all I needed to hear.  Live your own life.  Speak your own mind.  Think for yourself.  I was restored to my women’s libber mindset.  That was the real me.  Still is.

Take it from here

The push to pass the ERA in the 1970s was the subject of a TV series called Mrs. America, with the theme song from the disco era, A Fifth of Beethoven, instead of the women’s movement’s actual theme song during the early ’70s, I am Woman.  Guess that song couldn’t have been modernized by one of today’s female artists.  Each episode focused on the most famous women who came to national prominence during the ERA fight, especially anti-feminist Phyllis Schlafly.  She I remember.  Conservatives and fundamentalists would have supported her wholeheartedly.  Good woman, dutiful wife and together homemaker, at her heart she was just as much a women’s libber as the rest of us.  She was blessed with help supervising her six kids and cooking and housecleaning.  Mrs. Schlafly (and you better have called her that) went around the nation speaking against the ERA, claiming the amendment would destroy the family unit and the very fabric of American society.  She linked the ERA and feminism to an ungodly communistic socialistic revolution that would make men and women totally equal (asexual?), where gender roles would be blurred, men would raise children, more women would not have children, and young women would be drafted to fight wars alongside men.  None of this was the language or intent of the ERA, which premise is about equal pay for equal work and equal opportunity for jobs—something everyone believes in 2020, and we have for decades.

Mrs. Schlafly was a formidable opponent and had millions of supporters especially from the Moral Majority.  The ’70s feminists were unprepared for the America I knew, mindsets that for women uphold traditional family values no matter what the circumstances like death of a husband, abuse or divorce.  This is the America, and it’s most of the country, that Reagan knew and so does Trump.  Mrs. Schlafly’s final book, released after her death, called on conservatives to consider supporting Trump.  This enormous gap between traditionalists and feminists somehow continues to exist today no matter how … laughable.  Many marriages end in divorce.  Many women have children without marriage.  Many men are OK with it.  The law had to get involved to make deadbeat dads pay child support.  The Reagan Revolution did one thing to tilt Americans toward accepting feminist ideals, however: Most women had to start working because the economy was so bad.  The Leave it to Beaver family was in the past, and every woman (and man) in American knew it.

After all these decades, time in which I grew from a tomboy to a career woman to an aging though wiser female, the ERA may get a federal vote after the 2020 election if a Democrat is elected President and more Democrats are elected to the U.S. Senate.  As it stands now, the current Senate has no intention of even entertaining the thought of passing the silly old ERA given all the nation’s other problems.  But Americans, women and men, and our society have changed, permanently and at least for half of us for the better.  There’s no putting Jeannie back in her bottle.