Month: June 2018

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The lines of a Willie Nelson song: etched in his heart & face

Three cheers for Willie Nelson, the national treasure of Texas!  He’s turned 85 this year.  He and his fans probably thought he’d never live past 50.  But as he’s been willing to talk to the media all these decades, we can already guess what’s kept him rolling along.  (And I don’t mean the reefer, even his own mind-blowing brands, although he does say pot made him less prone to anger.  And that’s gotta do the heart good, right docs?)

Why, everyone knows the story of Willie Nelson: abandoned little boy raised by his grandparents in the tiny Hill Country community of Abbott, Texas; a stint in the Air Force; door-to-door salesman; radio dj; playing country bands; move to Nashville; hit songwriter.  His songs are standard in the American songbook: Night Life, Crazy, Whiskey River, Funny How Time Slips Away.  His songs were often first recorded to fame by the unique and memorable country and Western voices like Patsy Cline, Johnny Bush and Ray Price.

But back when Willie tried to emulate the country star image of groomed hair and suit circa 1960, it just wasn’t his style.  And they made fun of his singing, too.  Laughed him all the way back to Texas.  And as the life and times of Willie Nelson go, he just happened to be at the right place at the right time.  He grew his hair long and wore jeans and t-shirts or muscle Ts.  His beloved guitar Trigger always faithful to perform, he met up with other country artists ready to rebel against the polished Nashville sound, more skyscraper than honky tonk.  He released Red Headed Stranger, the album cover depicting him in a wanted poster from the 1800s.  The album featured his vocal style somberly singing Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain with his signature melodic guitar picking.  The album received wide appeal.

Along with country music friend Waylon Jennings, in 1976 Willie co-recorded an album that would top the charts for years.  Wanted! The Outlaws featured Good Hearted Woman and My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys.  They say Willie brought together the rockers and the rednecks.  Willie went on to headline his famous Fourth of July picnics, support Farm Aid, and invest in bio fuels as well as marijuana.

And he’s received just about every music award America has to offer, including: Grammy Hall of Fame; Kennedy Center Honors; Academy of Country Music Entertainer of the Year in 1980; and Grammy Awards for Best Male Country Vocals in 1976, 1979 and 1983.  Talk about doing your own thing and believing in yourself!

The Tao of Willie Nelson

Yep, there’s a book melding Eastern philosophy with the life attitude of Willie Nelson.  Given the way he’s chosen to live his life, happiness is evident to the rest of us.  In figuring out what Willie has to offer us about life, assumptions could be:

First, do your own thing.  In retrospect, Willie was of his time: growing up in the Depression and loving country music.  He simply took the style and set his own plain yet poetic words.  Hint for songwriters out there, according to Willie: Melodies are in the air.  Just pick one.

Second, impress yourself.  Willie writes good songs because he knows it.  He didn’t need anyone to tell him a song like Crazy would be a huge hit.  But he was at the right place again: talking to Patsy Cline’s husband at Tootsies in Nashville.  Everyone in the country music business already knew Willie wrote great songs.  The topic was bound to come up.

But what didn’t come up was letting Willie sing his own songs his way.  Yet once again the Tao of Willie is about believing in himself.  He always thought he had a pretty good voice.  It just took a cultural change in America’s music tastes—the preference for denim folk rock with a lot less polished recordings.  Willie was already out there performing.  Audiences were willing to listen to and appreciate his own style and renditions of his songs, already nationally known melodically, lyrically and emotionally.

Third, don’t live to impress others.  Willie chased fame and fortune, but then the famous started chasing Willie.  When he decided to quit the music business, his attitude changed.  He may have been hurt and angry, but when his feelings turned to don’t give a damn, wham!  That’s the key to real happiness.  He split with the Nashville scene, returning home to Texas and found a personal freedom that allowed him to sing his songs his way, making a living doing what he loves.  Among the workforce, this is rare.  Willie would say he was determined more than just lucky that life worked out for him.  The lesson is to be in control of one’s life and pursuit of happiness.

Fourth, keep active.  As long as he’s been able, Willie has been athletic, running races and golfing.  He’s out there, breathing in the fresh air, taking in the sun, enjoying the day.  He found as a famous entertainer, he does not always have to be ‘on’ all the time.  He was able to handle success.

Finally, keep an open mind.  Willie has a sense of humor, can see the funny in time slipping away, allows himself a good laugh not necessarily produced by the wacky weed.  And though the once red-headed scrawny young man never would have imagined his life turning into a national celebration and social influence through the gift of time and age, Willie stayed true to himself: from the braided hair, twinkling smile, love and heartache, versatile endeavors, heart of gold—the face of human life.

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Something’s missing: American suicide rate coincides with high-tech times & loneliness

There are cultures in the world where suicide is seen as an individual choice, a private matter, a somber affair to be wrestled within one’s own mind and sense of well being.  This philosophy dates back to the Ancient Greeks who believed anyone could end one’s own life whenever he or she wanted, for any reason, at any age, no questions asked.  Thousands of years ago, the humanity that formed Western civilization did not think suicide as the worst thing a person could do.  They certainly did not consider it a sin.  Maybe the collective thought was a shared empathy: Life is hard.

Long since B.C., Americans and Westerners do not agree with the Ancients or any society that condones suicide.  We have grown to believe in the sanctity of life, something precious and God given, even divine.  We agree that people should never end their lives no matter what.  Suicide is not only terribly sad and confusing, it leaves an emotional scar on family and friends who wonder why and what if, who will carry the guilt while pondering anything they could have said or done to change the permanent outcome.

Ah, look at all the lonely people

Our nation’s suicide rate has increased 30 percent since 1999—close to 45,000 deaths in 2016, the highest number in decades.  Which state has the highest suicide rate?  Montana.  The lowest?  New York.  Texas statistics reveal a large increase, too, but the highest incidents of suicide were in the northern Midwest states.

Suicide is the third leading cause of death among teens, second among 15- to 24-year-olds.  The most likely to commit suicide besides youth are elderly white men.  And suicide among the elderly, ages 65 and older, may be under reported by 40 percent, according to the American Association for Marriage and Family.

Every day 20 soldiers who’ve returned home from war overseas commit suicide.  In other sobering statistics, gay youth are four times more likely to die of suicide.  Guns are the most common method for males especially elderly; females, suffocation and poisoning, according to Suicide Prevention Resource Center.  Half of those who died from suicide had diagnosed mental disorders; other reports set the figure at 90 percent.  Such mental disorders, according to health.com, are depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, anxiety disorder, and personality disorders.

Other causes that lead to suicide are substance abuse; incarceration; family history of suicide; job loss; abusive relationships; terminal illness or debilitating health diagnosis; social isolation including bullying—this according to Healthline, an internet resource.

Warning signs of suicide, from mentalhealth.gov, are: talk of wanting to die, hopelessness, no reason to live, or burdening others; actively seeking a method; feeling trapped or enduring unbearable pain; and increased drug and/or alcohol use.

Suicide is so prominent that teachers and others who work with youth are trained annually on the signs of depression and suicidal thoughts in hopes of preventing a tragedy.  Everyone assumes we should get involved.  Still, suicide numbers rise.

That’s the thing: There are all of these resources … online … and yet we have this increasing traumatic intentional end of life—good lives, all worthy of living to full measure.  But many have forgotten how.

Where do they all belong?

Organic reasons that may lead to suicide run the gamut from age to brain disease.  When suicidal thoughts center on feelings of worthlessness, that life has no meaning and never will again, that is a sign of depression.  In overcoming or dealing with depression, there are several options.  “60 Minutes” broadcast journalist pioneer Mike Wallace was candid about his lifelong battle with depression and even suicide, feelings and thoughts amplified after the death of his son in the 1960s and again in the 1980s during a potentially ruinous libel lawsuit against him.  But with constant psychotherapy and newer drugs, he lived—his later years perhaps more content than he’d ever imagined.  He died of natural causes at age 93.

The Baby Boom generation may be another factor in increased depression and suicide.  The way we were raised with instant gratification, embracing technology, and producing our own personal solitary confinement.  Who wouldn’t be happy?

High tech has deluded more than one generation into thinking we are virtually independent beings.  But we never stopped being human.  We have forgotten to pursue first human connections, not crazy answers, blather and dubious history in the palm of our hands.  We have to realize what it means to be human.  We are emotional beings who think, not thinking beings who feel.  Humans are no different from other mammals.  A dog needs companionship.  A person needs a person as we need one another and each other.

When it comes to contemplating suicide, there isn’t a human being on the planet who wouldn’t understand.  Life has a lot of bitter than sweet, for some more than others or so it seems.  Misery may be in the mind of the beholder.  Talking about it helps.  Writing about it can help, if another person reads it.  Some people may have trouble bonding enough to feel secure to speak the unspeakable and seek help.

The late Anthony Bourdain, a consummate Baby Boomer, spoke of former drug abuse.  He found living in the aftermath of addiction comes with a price.  Some former addicts no longer experience an inner joy from just being alive.  The feeling or lack of joy is just a scrambling of the brain’s pleasure sensors, and it may not be permanent.

Aside from severe mental illness, the reason for our society’s increased suicide rate has to do with an inner longing of the soul.  Church and organized religion doesn’t work for everyone, certainly someone as sardonic as Bourdain and many of his generation.  Yet there is an obvious missing link among the chronically depressed.

The search for something more to life than stuff has always been, from the ancients to modern man.  The answer remains silent, buried deep in every human.  It is the spirit, the thing that makes us human, that is wounded and needs addressing and healing.  The search for inner peace makes life on earth an individual choice, a private matter, a somber affair to be wrestled within one’s own mind and sense of well being.

Please input the following as a smart phone contact: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255.